Possibility with a younger guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Possibility with a younger guy?
16
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 12:19pm

Just as a general question, would you assume a 22 year old guy wants just a fling/fun than to actually date someone? I am 28 and I met this guy through some friends of friends who is 22, we really hit it off but I'm past the stage of just wanting to play around (I don't care about being married or anything anytime soon but I would like something beyond a casual fling which is what I keep finding) so I don't know if I should go ahead and file him in the "don't get your hopes up" category or not.

I usually would not have been attracted to someone younger than me but he really sparked my interest. He actually seems more mature than some of the 30 year olds I've dated (some of those idiots I've posted about here :) but I just always assume a guy that young doesn't want anything major and probably just wants to have a good time. I realize nobody can be predicted so I guess I'm just looking for opinions or even success stories if they exist?? ;)

I was planning on taking my dating-hiatus but of course I bump into him and wasn't even expecting it.

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Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 12:34pm
I've dated a couple of guys who were significantly younger than I and, they were also coincidentally more interested in a serious relationship than I was at the time. Now, they weren't as mature as I would have liked so, we weren't good matches but, you can't base everything off of age ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 12:45pm

I agree.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 12:45pm
I would never let an age difference deter me. I know plenty of older woman/younger man couples, dating or married to each other. They are happy. However, if you feel that he is just wanting to play around, don't bother.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2001
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 12:49pm

My BF is 24 and I am 35. We've been dating a year in July, and it's the best relationship I have had - and I have one marriage under my belt. We women are often more worried about the age thing than they are. Yes, there are guys who like older women for just one thing, but there are others who like older women because girls their own age worry about things they see as irrelevant.

My BF has always preferred dating older women. At this time we are planning his moving in with me, he has his own place at the moment (no he isn't living at home! LOL)We have discussed marriage and children and all of those things. I was hesitant to date him, but I am glad I got over that.

No one is the same. Just go on a date if you want and take it from there. Best of luck.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 1:03pm

Honestly, if I were to meet someone and know upfront he was 22, I'd probably discount him because of the maturity issue.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 1:05pm

Hey! I remember you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 3:08pm
Thanks for the replies. I am not at all bothered by him being younger except that I assumed he was probably just wanting something casual and carefree because of him being 22. I guess I won't know for sure until it comes up in conversation, I just need to be careful and not have any expectations. I agree with the part about even older guys not necessarily wanting to have anything serious, I have stumbled across more than a few of those.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 3:14pm
i don't think you should assume that he doesn't want a girlfriend. to be honest it seems like people that are more likely to be in serious relationships than people are age- 22 year olds have g/fs and b/fs, while 28 year olds just date until they find "the one." For that reason I'd actually really like a younger guy, since I've had it with dating, and I don't want to get married yet- I'd love just a traditional boyfriend that people usually have when they're younger.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2004
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 3:40pm
That is pretty much where I am too. I am tired of dating right now (why I was going to take a hiatus) because it is so complicated and I meet guys from 30-35 who don't seem to have a clue. It's like they've forgotten how to have a girlfriend or even take a girl out and they just keep wanting to hook up all over the place, either that or they are very jaded and cynical about relationships and have decided it's too much of a risk to pursue anything past the bedroom. It gets very old and I usually end up feeling like some sort of therapist because of some guy's ex or I find a 35 year old fraternity guy. It's not pretty :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
Thu, 06-23-2005 - 7:52pm

:)

Good Luck to you for I tried dating a 23 yr old and I am 31 LOL this was 6 months after I seperated from my soon to be divorced hubby anyhoo it seems to me that he was more into games and manipulating me then to really have a realtionship in other words I got my hopes up and I realized that he was a sleeze but this doesn't mean that all young boys are like that I am just dating and we had a great time but in the end I want a fun yet mature realtionship this kid would make plans and blow me off and not call for weeks at end and then call again in other words he was a playa LOL but in the end its your heart and choice don't let society tell you who to be with I have no regrets when it comes to this kid but I am very happy that at the time he helped me feel alive again now I am ready to move on and be on my own :)

HUGS

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