pressure to look good

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
pressure to look good
38
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 11:58am

This was touched on in another thread, but do you single gals feel a need to always look your best? I feel like i am so self concious these days. I work out, try to keep up with the latest trends, do my hair. I'm not a big makeup person, sometimes i feel like i should wear more. I feel like no matter how good i might look, when i go out there are always plenty of people who i feel look better. Sometimes i wonder, why bother? It seems like there is so much emphasis for women on their looks. People are obsessed with celebrities these days, they even follow the lives of loser, drug ridden children of celebs...but these celebs always look 'hot' no matter how stupid they might be, lol. I feel like there are beautiful people every time i turn on the tv, even my computer these days. It's like if you are average or even above average, it doesnt matter...you wont get attention unless you're a 9 or a 10. It starts to get depressing. It seems like men really want top notch good looking women too. i read their profiles online and it almost always says they want someone slim, slender, then they add in they want someone who is attractive and takes care of herself, etc-sorry to me that translates, if you're not hot then dont contact me, lol.

I used to think i was attractive...but these days i dont feel that way.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 1:11pm

That's great, but we've already established that you're a rare guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 1:23pm
It's true, you rarely see really good looking men go for the average women. It does seem unfair. I've seen it a couple of times but definately not as common as the really good looking women going for the average men. I don't like that it has to be this way but I guess this is just society and just life. Personally I tend to be attracted to men within my attraction range which is a little above average to cute. I've dated men that people told me that I could do better though because they didn't think that they were that cute but they were cute to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Fri, 10-20-2006 - 2:07pm
yeah the other thing is though that pretty much any man from ugly to hot, rich to poor can say that they have at one point in their lives been with a hot woman. I think this is just something that they all do at one point or another is try to 'score' with the quintessential hot chick just so they can say or know that they have. I think that also says that hot women arent exactly rare these days or maybe they never really have been. I think i said in another post that i feel like i'm always seeing very good looking women in my city...and yes some men too, but mostly women. Women can just do more with themselves. In addition to staying fit they can make themselves look much better with makeup, hair styles, nice clothes, countless beauty procedures...oh and if you have money...even better you can just afford more of these things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 12:50pm

I feel a LOT of pressure to look great all of the time.

I'm trying to snag this certain guy and...
He can't keep his eyes off of me in class or whenever he sees me, WHICH is why I feel I have to be dressed "correctly" from head to toe.
And...it gets tiring. His family is very wealthy and because of who he is, he's always had supermodel-looking girlfriends. SUPERMODELS are my competition (Yikes!).
He's really vain - he says he'd NEVER touch a girl who was heavier than me (104 lbs) unless she was taller than my height of 5'4" (I know he sounds like a jerk...and he is at times to be honest, lol). He says I have PBS (which is Perfect Body Size), so at least he likes my body, but...I have absolutely no self-esteem. I don't feel attractive at all and as CORBEACH said, there's always someone way more attractive. I too wonder, "Why did I even try?"

He's pretty good with keeping his eyes off of other women, but...that's only for when I'm around. God only knows how many women he scopes out when I'm NOT around.

But yes, I do feel pressure to look good since the guy I'm interested in is pretty good-looking himself and prefers supermodel-looking women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 12:59pm

Ah, I forgot to add...

I really don't feel pressure to look good as it relates to other guys, only this one particular guy. (I've got to give him a name since I talk about him so much, lol - let's say "Peter")
When guys besides "Peter" talk to me in class and he sees, Peter gets a bit...jealous, but he has no idea that no matter how 'good' I supposedly look (or try to look), I still feel only pressure to look good to him and not those other guys.

For instance, he told me that the one time I excused myself from class briefly to use the lady's room, guys were staring at my...derriere...
In looking my best, I may have attracted their attention briefly, but...I'd rather not have.
I still feel that pressure only for him, even if other guys DO look.

I'm sure you're attractive, CORBEACH. Don't feel that way about yourself...:(
Well, I know it's easier said than done, but...I hope you feel better about your looks (Because I'm pretty sure you're fine :)

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 4:58pm

Guys like that completely turn me off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 6:43pm

Yeah, he's completely vain. He even admitted to being so.

Even if there are other guys who would like to date me (though I highly doubt it), I still only want him so I feel that pressure every second I'm around him.
If I were to gain five pounds, he probably would be...'piggish' about it, but...well, you can see how much I like the guy considering how much I'm willing to put up with from him.

I'm hopeless, lol...

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 8:10pm

What is it about him that you like?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 8:22pm
He's smart. He's funny. He's exciting. He's comfortable talking to me about anything, which is one of the most important things in a relationship to me.
He's aggravating, egotistical, and demanding, yes...but when I want to be with someone, I want to take the good right along with the bad.
One of those bad things about him is that he prefers his women to be top-notch, or as he says, "world-class."
I try, but...as corbeach said, there's always someone better.
He says he likes me for reasons other than my looks...I hope that's true.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 10:27am

For