Pretty Boys are Evil!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Pretty Boys are Evil!
14
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 1:44pm
Pretty boys are evil! Especially if they're ugly ducklings transformed into swans. Not only do they suddenly become easy on the eyes, they turn into egotistical bastards seeking to unleash vengence upon 50% of the population!

Here's my story: Last month I met a really cute guy at a social gathering after work. He is a friend of someone I work with and we hit it off. He was charming, a bit shy, but very funny. A few weeks after our first meeting, I had a little get-together of my own, and I invited him. We spent most of the night flirting. He acted like he was really interested in getting to know me better, so I asked him out. To my surprise, he said no! His reason: He had just gotten out of a long-term relationship that ended badly and he was looking for a "friend". But two weeks later, he asked me out! Against my better judgment, we went on a date. We were having a great time until he wanted to have sex and I balked at his advances. So do you know what Mr. Wonderful did? He told me that the main point of asking me out was to "hang out", no strings attached. According to him, most of the women he dates are satisfied with one-night stands and he usually never sees them again. He implied that I should consider myself "lucky" to be among the "chosen few" and he didn't want mislead me (like he was doing me a favor!). Of course I felt really stupid, especially after I found out he's been using the same line on unsuspecting women who fall for his pretty-boy-next-door looks! As thing turn out, this guy was really overweight until he shed a few pounds recently. Now that he's training to run in a marathon, a lot of women who overlooked him before are starting to come around. So he's out there trying to get laid as much as possible with "no strings attached". Are all good looking men such self-centered A-holes or did I hit the motherload of self-absorbed stupidity?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 2:50pm
It's a free country - if all he wants is sex with no strings he is entitled and one date doesn't create obligations. You sound like a very angry person - he is one person so please do not generalize. I know many handsome men who are just dolls and I know unattractive men who are jerks. Same for women. My advice - date men who pursue you in the beginning, who you like as people but if - and only if - you lose that hostility and negativity towards men - I have gone out on many unpleasant dates and with jerky guys but I never let it impact my optimism - after 21 years of dating, that isn't easy but it is doable - one way is to have close male platonic friends so you cannot possibly make those sweeping generalizations.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 5:01pm
Nah, they're not all like that. They are out there, though. You should feel smart that you found out before anything happened.

I remember the first time a guy relentlessly pursued me just for sex. It was my first frat party my freshman year in college. I was appalled that such a man existed, and especially that he would insult me by insinuating that I would cheat on my boyfriend! Now, I just laugh at men like that. They don't usually come near me (I look like the girl next door- kind of a deterrent), but I find it funny just to think about men like that. What slime!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-30-2003 - 6:29pm
"Pretty boys are evil! Especially if they're ugly ducklings transformed into swans. Not only do they suddenly become easy on the eyes, they turn into egotistical bastards seeking to unleash vengence upon 50% of the population!"

i don't think this is the norm. ex-ugly ducklings often carry their insecurities for the rest of their lives.

it's possible that he only wants purely physical relationships because he doesn't feel like he has anything more than that to offer...

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 9:52am
This guy sounds like a real jerk with one hell of an ego. But, I wouldn't use your experience with him to generalize to all good looking men, or even to all men who are "ugly ducklings transformed into swans". Anyone can be a jerk, no matter how they look, and I agree with Thim, usually people who have transformed themselves have a very hard time letting go of their insecurities. I think the guy you went out with is the exception, not the norm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 11:08am
Why is this upsetting you so? Its just one night and one guy. Relax. If you allow yourself to take it this personally, you are going to be untrusting to the next guy. Be careful you don't make the next guy "pay". Have to bend over backwards to get your trust when he didn't do anything wrong. Otherwise you might find yourself lonely...

Good luck, Go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 1:01pm
It sounds like he was upfront about what he wanted. He initially told you he wasn't looking for a relationship. You acted upon what you wanted from the situation (a potential dating/relationship it sounds like) instead of taking his words at face value.

There's nothing wrong with wanting a little action, as long as it's two consenting adults participating....

Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 1:21pm
Nope, they're all self-absorbed rectal-nuggets. Pretty boys are from the devil. Them, and foosball.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 2:01pm
I have to agree that pretty boys are evil. I just recently dated two. One was over weight growing up and now he is beautiful and he knows it and shows it to everyone. He's one of those boys when your out is wearing a tight shirt and showing his muscles. He didn't get a lot of attention from women before and now all he is is superficial and that gets old fast. The other guy same sort of thing except he was more like your experience tried to sleep with me because he is great looking and I should be thankful for the chance. I laughed at him and walked out the door. Not every good looking person is a jerk but, their are always exceptions to the rules.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-01-2003 - 7:08pm
Just wondering...if a guy posted here that all beautiful women were manipulative, how would you react to that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-02-2003 - 11:22am
"Just wondering...if a guy posted here that all beautiful women were manipulative, how would you react to that? "

that's different 'cause it's true.

Pages