PROMIScuity, double standard??

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
PROMIScuity, double standard??
28
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 3:36pm

Why is it wrong if a female has been with at least more than their puppy love, first love, and third partner in life and ok if a guy on the other hand, is been with at least 5 physical intimite partners??? Isn't this the twenty-seventh century??? Isn't it wrong to say a female is a "slut" or "has been around town" when society ignores the fact that guys are just as bad? So what do U think? What are your personal beliefs on DIS isshoe?

random iVillager, eReader_k007 "Life's a triOp. Tie your shoelAces"

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Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 3:46pm
There is absolutely a double standard. There always has been and probably always will be, no matter the century. This goes back thousands of years. I think it's gotten better but we're never going to be on an even playing field. Perhaps that's pessimistic of me, but I just don't see it happening.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 6:16pm
I think the playing field will continue to be at least slightly more even. Coming from an early 20-something, I definitely don't think three is a high number for a woman, ANY woman. I just think it's hard to say what's a lot for ANYONE. I had a guy I met online and went out with once warn me that his number was high (he was in his mid 20's), 25. Now it DOES sound really high and I did wince a little, but I still went out with him and coincidentally, he was more eager to be in a monogamous relationship than most guys I've dated. Things didn't work out with us, but we still talk occasionally and he's now been in a committed relationship for quite some time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2007
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 8:46pm

I think there is still a double standard, but is has been better. My own approach is that it is no one's business but your own who you sleep with. I don't discuss it with any boyfriends in a numbers approach. I might discuss sexual history as it affects our health and that we need to be tested and use condoms, but I never go into details or give numbers. You can get an std from only one partner. I never really ask a guy how many people he has been with.= because I know he'll want to know about me.

Most guys have told me the don't care, but I feel it is still my private business. A girl has to have some mystery. I never hold it against someone how many people they are with. I don't think about them as players or sluts. I just think some people are different and more open. Others might have issues with self esteem and acceptance so they feel a physical relationship can lead to that, etc. People grow out of this stage at some point. Even the biggest players I know are now getting married and are happy.

I do think women are trying to have sex like men, but this doesn't work for everyone. I know it's not right for me so I don't do it. I have tested the waters of NSA sex, but not everyone can be "Samantha Jones" in S&C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 1:16pm
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Edited 7/10/2007 9:40 am ET by elwood1960
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 2:02pm

gal_ziggy10

Great analogy! So, other than health concern issues, would you say, you would never ask your current partner about the statistics of how many beds she's lied on?

Since I stated that this is the 2007th century, isn't double standard improved, and HOW has the expectations or norms of sexual behavior changed over the course of human evolution??

Just wanted to ask your opinion... Thx.

-eReader_k

random iVillager, eReader_k007 "Life's a triOp. Tie your shoelAces"
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 2:07pm

elwood1960,

Could you elaborate on this earlier re: you stated
"Even if sex is used to feel needs of loneliness or whatever . .issues not related to sex but of witch sex, drugs, alcohol, etc often get involved . . .it still does not make a woman a "w" . . it makes her lonely or whatever . .know what I mean? It is not a sexual issue. Men too . . .who has not felt an unhealthy desire for attention at some time, acted on or not."

Thx
-eReader_k007

random iVillager, eReader_k007 "Life's a triOp. Tie your shoelAces"
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 2:21pm
Uhh, yep. If a women sleeps around, she's a slut, if a man does it, he's The Man. It's just the way it is here in America.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 2:25pm
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Edited 7/10/2007 9:39 am ET by elwood1960
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 4:35pm

Definitely! Thanks 4 re:

random iVillager, eReader_k007 "Life's a triOp. Tie your shoelAces"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Mon, 07-09-2007 - 6:22pm

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Yeah, and what really gets me if you go on the Ask Mr. Answer Man board the WOMEN on that board will berate other women for sleeping with too many men, or sleeping with men too soon. I think it's disgusting. Why shoudln't/can't a women sleep with whoever she darn well pleases.

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