The Pros of Being Sexless

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2005
The Pros of Being Sexless
6
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 12:30pm

My boyfriend lives 8 minutes away, and my kids are at school all day and are away all weekend every other weekend. He takes the time to go to the gym with me and play golf but not to come over for sex. Once he did, and we were constantly interrupted by his phone which he left on. When we do have sex, it lasts for approximately 5 minutes as he is always pressed for time. So....I've found other ways to get rid of my sexual tention, and since turning to other vices, I have found that I'd rather not have sex with my boyfriend now and actually have fun turning him down just for spite. One of them is go out with my friends to a male strip bar (where I actually got asked out by one of them, lol, but probably-stupidly turned him down). The other, of course, is servicing myself. I've made myself feel better about my boring-boyfriend situation by thinking up the following somewhat silly list, although I'm still pissed about his sexual passiveness because I'm still being neglected romantically.

The Benefits of Private Masturbation as Compared to Actual Sexual Intercourse.

1. You don't have to worry about looking ridulous.
2. You don't have to worry about looking hot.
3. You don't have to shave your legs.
4. You don't have to dress up as a French maid.
5. You don't have to perform a lap dance.
6. You don't have to perform oral sex.
7. Your vibrator is probably bigger than he was anyway (which yes, is the case).
8. You don't have to worry about having your pubic area, legs, or pits freshly trimmed or shaved.
9. You don't have to worry about being ignored afterwards.
10. You don't have to worry if you're making too much noise or not enough noise.
11. You don't have to fake it.
12. You can make it last as long or short as you want.
13. You can watch TV or listen to the radio while you do it and watch/listen to whatever you want.
14. You can have your Playgirl mag sitting out.
15. You don't have to hear someone complain about the mess.
16. You don't have to hear someone complain about your prickly, unshaven body parts.
17. You don't have to worry about how well you kiss.
18. You don't have to worry about touching anyone the right way but yourself.
19. You get it just the way you want it.
20. You can orgasm faster than when someone else tries to make you orgasm.
21. You don't feel as guilty about fantasizing about someone else.
22. You don't have to worry about calling out the wrong name.
23. You don't have to worry about how fat you are, how small your breasts are, or how much cellulite you have on your butt.
24. You don't have to worry about doing something stupid.
25. You don't even have to brush your teeth or deodorize, although these would probably turn yourself off, lol.
26. You don't have to worry if you're ignoring someone else's needs.
27. You only have your own mess to clean up afterwards, if any.
28. You don't have to worry about if you're wearing the right kind of perfume or none at all.

If you can think of anything else, feel free to add on!

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 12:49pm

It is absolutely not the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 1:30pm

ITA.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2004
Fri, 10-21-2005 - 6:57pm

I'm all for satisfying ourselves! It's a great way to get in touch with our bodies, to figure out what turns us on, etc.. And it also allows us to let our partners know what works and what doesn't.

But, I'm going to agree with the other girls...it really sounds like sex is (or is soon going to be) an issue with your boyfriend. If he's not treating you the way you want, and deserve, to be treated, then you need to talk to him! Obviously you are not happy with the way things are going, at least in the bedroom. And, we all know that problems in the bedroom ALWAYS cause problems in other aspects of the relationship...or they might even stem from other issues you're having.

Just my two cents.
Alyssa

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Sat, 10-22-2005 - 1:01am
but then again she has a backup for when the relation fails at least...
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Mon, 10-24-2005 - 1:45pm
#29 you dont have to worry about catching something from your partner
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2005
Tue, 10-25-2005 - 12:18am
Amen to that!!