Put in my personal ad

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Put in my personal ad
18
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 1:45pm

Hahahahaha

I am on two dating websites. I have noticed a lot of men on these sites want a "beautiful" or "hot" woman. One young guy, even told me there wasn't any "quality" women on the site. I checked out the other women my age and found they were sweet, smart, fun and cute...I guess not good enough for him because they were merely "cute" and not "hot".

I had a first internet date last Saturday. This was another man who wanted a woman who was "beautiful on the inside as well as the outside". Was he very good looking? Nope. He sure thought he was because he said "here we are, two very attractive people and still single". This guy's hair did not look healthy, and he wore knit nylon sweat pants and top to our date. He had zippo style. Yet, he still wants someone "hot"?

Don't get me wrong...I don't think a man doesn't have value if he isn't hot...but it makes me ill when they demand the woman be hot when they are clearly NOT.

The arrogance is just astounding to me. In response, I added this to my ad:
***********************
Many men on this site and others want a "beautiful" or "hot" woman. If a merely cute or sweet woman is not good enough for you, do not call on me. I am not interested in being someone's trophy or arm candy...I want a real relationship. Don't feel you can buy my love with your money/sophistication/or age. OK? I am more interested in true intimacy and real friendship. Oh, if you demand someone "hot" remember you need to be just as hot yourself. Two way street.
**********************

Have I lost it? hahahaha

A Quick edit: I took it down as soon as I realized it was not positive. The good thing is it made me realize what bothers me about these men and how I'd rather be with someone more humble. Live and learn.

Edited 8/28/2007 1:53 pm ET by lv2breathe




Edited 8/28/2007 7:57 pm ET by lv2breathe
Soliel

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 5:08pm

I would give some thought to whether you really want to include that in your ad. I *totally* understand where you're coming from, but I know when I read a guy's ad and he talks about things in the negative (don't be this, don't do that), it's a turn-off and I generally won't respond, so I try to be positive in my own ad rather than negative. You might have some good guys read your ad and get the feeling that you're a negative person and not respond even though they aren't just looking for "hot" women.

Just some food for thought.

Sheri

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 5:50pm

Sorry for the confusion. I was just sharing my experience, views and not so much on commenting on your preferences and the response you got from that guy. I hope I clarified this.

As been stated here, it takes thick skin both as a the poster and the responder. As a good rule-of-thumb is just to not take things personally. Obviously the guy's hot button is height and women who prefer taller men.

Mark

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 5:54pm

I will be interested in (1) if any guy actually will read that and (2) what will be your responses to that tidbit *grin*

BTW I have been with beautiful on the outside women and was not attacted to them. I only started getting interested (or not) once I got to know their insides (this with others as well).

Mark

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 7:16pm
Thanks for the clarification. It's not about being thick skined, it just so happened, you were one of two guys who commented not on what I posted about, but more about the height issue. I was not sure if somehow the point of my post either sparked a nerve or if I was just unclear myself to what I was trying to explain. Nothing more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 7:46pm

I think you are right. It doesn't come across as "right". I am actually not angry when it comes to men. I feel sad right now but not really angry and I don't want to give the impression that I am. I took it off just as quick.

I think if a man emails me who states he wants a beautiful woman, I'll just decide then and there if I am interested.

Soliel
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 08-28-2007 - 10:49pm

That's exactly why I took my ad down in early July and have no desire right now to put it back up.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Wed, 08-29-2007 - 1:18pm

>>Try it for yourself. It was the best $40 bucks I spent on myself!

Yeah, no thanks. Relationships/love are not a science, and more people complain about online dating than like it. The people who do meet people they like/click with are just by dumb luck, which is how things usually happen in person (ie randomly meeting someone you end up liking), so why bother????

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 08-30-2007 - 12:19pm

For every person who had met someone off of eHarmony, Match, Yahoo, whatever there are people who has not.

I have tried most of them and have met some nice women and have had relationships with some of them. I think the older we get the more discerning and discriminating we get along with higher expectations from the online menu choices.

Mark

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