Putting it out there

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Putting it out there
16
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 7:29pm

For about 10-15 days per month, I become "boy crazy" like I was when I was 13-19.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 9:12pm

I thought you really liked the older very smart guy from last week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 10:37pm

Music, this brings up a vexing conundrum for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 10:45pm

It's very rare, isn't it, that the degree of affection for each other is balanced?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 11:24pm

Yes, but I'm not convinced he knows me well enough to make such statements. He does say it, but it isn't with the ardor I'd prefer.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 11:28pm
I thought he did, too. And wasn't there discussion of moving? If I were him, I'd be pissed if I found out you were still trying to gain the interest of other men. It seems like game playing, which most sane people detest in dating. Plus, you're sleeping with him. Unless there's a purely sexual agreement, there's gotta be some sort of commitment there, even if it's just that you won't try to sleep with anyone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Wed, 11-16-2011 - 11:45pm

I guess I'll get some answers after we spend Monday-Tuesday together this coming week.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 1:36am

In order for me to ascertain what you are saying... to summarize, you have seen the following men that you are interested in

1.ex bf, lean, athletic doctor does pot and alcohol and hence that was why you did not stay with him before?

2. Colleague with rotten 10 yr old and going through a divorce.

3. Amazing older and wealthy man who lives in another state does not have time for a relationship.

So are you saying that #1, and #2 are men you mentioned because you are hormonal and leaving the door open for more but this wealthy guy is the primary person you are interested in?

Hard on your ego to not be the light of his life? Perhaps it is best for you to be clear with yourself on what you want in a relationship. You want a one up-one down relationship where you are The One, i.e. the quasi-celebrity? The one with the power? It is good to understand what you really want in order to decide on whether this is something that you want to be in.

As many on iVillage have noted, when a guy tells you that he is fill-in-the-blank then believe him when it comes to not wanting a relationship. I take people at their word and cut my loses when they tell me up front that they would rather not be involved for whatever reason.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 8:04am

If he says he doesn't want a relationship right now, believe him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 8:09am

Hi;

Yes; I am a bit confused myself. (doesnt take much)...about the men you are deciding on right now as we speak.

Do you want one of them to make a committment to you right now?? When one commits to you then you will be exclusive with that one?
I hate to say it but none of these sounds promising at all and none of them sounds like relationship material as they say.

#3 sounds okay but then says he doesnt have time for a relationship? So you will be the girl he comes to visit when he feels like it and has nothing else going on? Sounds kind of one sided. (his side) But I do appreciate his honesty. But how can you trust someone like this? Does he have other women he sees on his travels?

Okay.. So could you compromise with #3 somehow? YOu would have to be in long

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 11-17-2011 - 1:18pm

It seems to me that you have conflicting desires.

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