a question about red flags...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
a question about red flags...
4
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 3:07pm
there are some flags which are major stop signs for the majority of women out there: eg. violent/abusive behaviour, compulsive cheater, etc...

does this mean that there are guys out there that are unsuitable to make ANY woman happy?

if so... does this mean that there are women that are unsuitable to make ANY man as well?


and finally, does this mean that some people don't belong in relationships, period?

Avatar for schnappsers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 4:15pm
I'd answer yes to all three of your questions. Some people need to change certain things about their behavior before they should get involved in a relationship. If they have certain characteristics or engage in certain behaviors that are destructive or hurtful, then they can't possibly make someone else happy until they change those behaviors.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 6:00pm
I say yes to all of your questions, but somehow, someway, there are people out there who are not suited for anyone who are married, coupled, or dating a lot. Any guy or gal who is abusive should get help before attempting to have a relationship. There are some people who are just too selfish to give to someone else, and there are others who are self-destructive (I'm thinking addicts).

However, I think that some things that are red flags to some are plusses for others. My sister and I have very different tastes in men, which has become apparent with her recent boyfriend. She wants a guy who will allow her to be dependent. To me, that's a red flag that shows a guy is controlling. She wants to be dependent, though, so that's good for her.

But, you're right- there are things that are red flags for everyone, and those people shouldn't be coupled.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-22-2003 - 6:06pm
Of course there are people out there who are not suitable for anyone - but this is not a rigid situation - they can get help, and then be suitable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 05-23-2003 - 12:28am
There are some people who don't belong around others, some who don't belong in relationships, and still others who just don't belong in the gene pool, period.

I have managed to find many of them this year...they entered my classroom. I have a couple boys in my homeroom that I'd like to present to the Evolution Committee as proof of Darwin's "Missing Link" and one in my 4th period class who I call "SPIT" -- Sexual Predator in Training. He needs to be at the Huntsville School for Boys, but my boss has turned a deaf ear to me.

As for myself, I'm one of those people who is too independent to ask for help when I need it. I doubt I could make a man happy.

And I'm in a rather grouchy mood due to end-of-year stress... so I have a tendency NOT to censor myself.

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