Question about saving it for marriage

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Question about saving it for marriage
25
Tue, 10-17-2006 - 1:39pm

On The Bachelor series, there is this woman who is 23 and told the Bachelor she is saving herself for marriage. She seems to believe this will enhance her value in his eyes. He told her he never would have asked her if she was a virgin or not, in the first place (it didn't matter to him).

Do men these days really care? Do they want that woman who is saving herself? DO women want a man who is saving himself?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 5:02pm

>>I think her argument is geared more towards sex before marriage and the lack of committment that is involved in some of those relationships. <<

Agreed, but having sex before marriage does not necessarily mean you are doomed to end up in a non-committed relationship, either.

I think the important thing here is that each of us must know ourselves well enough to make our own decisions in that area. Iri does. I do. You do. So, that's good. I think the danger comes when someone has sex - or doesn't - based on pressure from the outside world one way or the other. It has to be a personal choice, in my opinion.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Thu, 10-19-2006 - 5:16pm
it really depends on a couple and their chemistry. I dont think that anything makes or breaks anyone these days...living together isnt necessarily going to tear you apart or bring you closer just like sex wont either. I have heard of cases where couples had sex too soon and that's all that was there...but i've also heard of people dumping each other because someone wouldnt give it up...again though if they chemistry is right and two people are meant to be this shouldn happen. I guess i am a big believer in fate.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2006
Mon, 10-23-2006 - 2:19am
I don't think enough men care.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2006
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 12:40pm

I don't think guys really care.

But I've run across a lot of guys who have this weird thing for virgins.
I'm a virgin and I know a guy who says, "I want to be the first" a lot.
I'm pretty sure it's not because he actually likes me - I think it's more of an "I'd be taking someone's virginity" type of thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Sun, 11-05-2006 - 4:12pm
I am in college and while I'm not necessarily planning on waiting until marriage, I am a virgin and do not plan to rush into changing that - Among other reasons, I feel very strongly that by having sex I would be taking responsibility for any possible consequences, including the possibility of becoming pregnant, which I am not willing to deal with at this early stage of my life. I'm worried that with all the emphasis on sex these days, this is going to make me less attractive to guys my age. Hopefully I am wrong.

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