Question for women ( Sex or R )

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2006
Question for women ( Sex or R )
3
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 11:35am
How do u know if a woman wants sex, or realationship?????. I get quite confused alot and i used to take my time with woman. I meet alot of girls and have been friends with some girlfriends that were coming on to me and It is always weird for me because alot of times i know she is not my type but i am attracted to a girl. Now i dont want to sleep with someone i meet( friends etc) or know and then tell them that i used them for sex and have them blame me.
Even alot of girls that i know that i am not attracted to that were coming on i later found out from them thaat its just about sex and they are just looking for anyone to get laid.
Nothing wrong with that its just that i had this perseption that most women outthere want more then just sex. and its one thing when u meet someone at bar etc. but when people that you regularly interact with come on to you i never know if its just sex or they want to date me so i always get confused.
maybe someone can explain this to me.
thx
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 11:44am
I think once you meet a girl and have communicated enough to know there is an interest on both sides you just lay it out there... "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" and then if things progress to sex you know she's okay with having the sex and not the relationship. I've been on both ends of the spectrum with this... there's been times where I just wanted to get the goods and wasn't necessarily worried about having a long term something or other with the guy... but there have been other times where I've walked away because I knew if I went there with him I'd be hooked. So... just communicate it and make sure she understands - you'll be able to tell! :)
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 11:49am

I agree with Kristen.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 11:53am

That's a tough question, because many women will not be truthful with you (or themselves, for that matter)...they will *say* they are ok with having it just be sex (and they may even believe it), but then not be able to handle it. Or they are thinking that having sex will get them the relationship they really want. And unfortunately a number of them won't take responsibility for having made that choice--they will still think you "used" them.

I don't know how you tell if a woman who says she is ok with just sex is one of the rare women who actually is. I suppose if you've known her for a while and you know that she never seems to get hurt or attached when she sleeps with someone, then she may actually be ok with it.

Sheri