Quick question

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Quick question
11
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 1:51pm
I'm recently single and wanted to get back out there and start dating. I ended up meeting this guy and I'm starting to have feelings for him. The only problem is I slept with him way to soon ( a little slutty I know) now I'm getting the impression that's all it's going to be. I haven't been calling him at all and he'll call me but it's only on the weekends. So my question is, is there a way to tell a guy that you want more than just the every other weekend hang outs? Thanks

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 4:09pm
I'd say a guy is truly interested in you if he calls or e-mails fairly regularly and makes sure in advance that you're his weekend date. If he only calls last minute, it could be a sign that he's 'just not that into you.'

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 10:00pm

Why do you think you did something wrong? I've NEVER heard a guy complain about a girl putting out to soon.

What's wrong with just casually hooking up?

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 10:14pm

I don't think when you sleep with someone is an indicator of long-term potential UNLESS the hookup was just out of horniness and not out of feeling a connection (hopefully, that makes sense).

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 01-31-2007 - 11:46pm
If he's only calling you on the weekends, then I am assuming that he is asking you to get together on these said weekends. Make yourself unavailable the next time he tries to plan a date with you the day of, or the day before. "I'm busy" has always worked well for me in the past. One more thing and I do not mean to insult you but if you just don't have the will to say no, then go on out with him, but don't close any deals after the date. He'll get the message ; )
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2006
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 12:27am

Hi,
I am newly single as well. And started the dating scene...I have had the weekend callers (one right now) and they seem to be interested in just hooking up because i think he thinks that is only what i want because i also dont contact him much. I mean do you want somehting with this guy or is he just a rebound since you are newly single? I have been single from a 6 year relationship for about 6 months and i dont feel the need to jump into anything new right away so if he is just someone casual maybe its the best way to go now? I think you should just do what is comfortable for you.

But to be honest if you havent been out there for a while it seems that guys dont want to be attached especially if you are meeting guys under 26....they dont have the same worries as girls--lucky bastards haha

Anyways have fun and be good to yourself,
~Diva

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 9:18am
Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 3:57pm

Instead of trying to guess at what he wants or is thinking, just directly tell him "look, I like you, and I want more than an FWB situation. If that's not what you're looking for, that's fine, but if we aren't on the same page, I need to be fair to myself and stop seeing you."

Guys do better with clear, upfront communication. Not confrontational, just clear and concise.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 4:00pm

I second what Sisfox said -

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2004
Thu, 02-01-2007 - 4:59pm
ITA with you sisfox. I think it's best to be upfront about what you want out of a situation and if his intentions are not meeting your wants then ending it is best so more heartache doesn't occur. Sometimes guys can be vague though about what they want and still try to lead us on so they can keep getting the sex by saying that there "might be a chance" for it to go somewhere. We just have to be smart enough to read between the lines. If he sounds doubtful and saying maybe, then I would also reconsider continuing this if you want something more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 3:58am

Hey there. At this point you should ask yourself - does seeing him more rarely than you want bring you more pleasure or pain. If it hurts you more than pleases you, ADDRESS THIS DIRECTLY WITH HIM. Tell him that you like him and enjoy his company but you want more than what he gives you today. Don't worry. This will not make you come across as desperate or needy. Not at all. You will just do yourself a favor by bringing some clarity into your life. Address what you feel in a friendly but firm manner, and encourage him to be honest, and see what he says. From there, you decide whether what you have today makes you happy or you are better off moving on and spending time with guys who can give you more.

Thanks,

Arkady Itkin
www.PracticalHappiness.com

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