r they all really the same? just venting

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
r they all really the same? just venting
5
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 2:51am
So im 20 years old and i have a very active social life however i keep finding that all the guys i meet are the same! they all lie and are only after one thing and its not a relationship! yes i know guys my age usually arent looking to be "tied down" but i have been single for over a year and a half and even guys ive met who havent been in a relationship in a long time are still the same! im kind of over this dating scene where i end up finding someone i think is different and then he just breaks my heart! does it get any better!?!?!?lol yes i know someday i will meet "the one" but seriously i wish he would come around right now cuz im just about to give up on dating!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 4:47am

Lovebites619,

I'm 32 and apparently a lot of the men my age are swimming in the under 25's pool but when I was your age, I had the same experience as you that men wanted to play the field and not make a commitment. It is frustrating at times but if you can avoid the sharks and head towards the rainbow trouts, you should fare better. Dating certainly does get much better and easier as you get older. I find the older I get, the more men I meet want to get to know me as a person and prolong the physical side of the relationship.

Feisty

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 11:13am

I think that at 20, a lot of women feel like it's time to find that guy and settle down.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 10:43pm
i do agree with you however, i dont want to get married right now or anytime soon for that matter! (my dad always told me not to get married til i own my own house! i doubt it will be THAT long but def. not soon) my last few relationships were all bad, lieing, cheating (not by me) lack of communication...so i have already learned a LOT about myself, what im willing to put up with and what i wont tolerate when to realize i need to let go. i tried the casual thing with guys (not in a slutty way of course!) but its just not what i want, after a while i start to actually have feeling for them! the last guy (still currently friends with him) i went to a party at his house and ended up walking in on him in his room having sex with another girl! i mean i knew in the back of my mind there were other girls, hes 21 cute and not my "boyfriend" but i never expected to walk in on it! im just tired of dealing with stuff like that. i just want someone i can rely on someone to have fun with but exclusively...the way to learn more about your self and what you are looking for is to have the experiences to look back on am i right? and casual dating with guys is a way different experience than a relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:16pm

"There are guys at that age who do want to settle down, but if you find one and end up married really young, you'll regret it later."


My brother was one of those guys.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:57pm

>>It does get better. Then it will get worse again. Then it will get better again. Dating sure has its ups and downs. Sometimes I really long for what I had when I was in the 4-year relationship. But I know my time will come again.<<

So true. I know I get tired of those ups and downs. I currently seem to be going on a string of first and second dates and that's about it. I definitely long for what I had in my 5-year relationship. At least we know that long-term relationships are possible, and they will happen for us again.

At 31, I certainly have had plenty of ups and downs. I always thought I'd be married by 23, but I have to say I'm glad now that I wasn't. I am a very different person now than I was then, and I'm glad I had the time to really figure out who I was and what I wanted to become. Five years of that "becoming" was spent in a relationship that showed me how important it is to take the time to choose the right mate. I believe it is the #1 most important decision you will make in your life, and it's worth letting time show you the right choice.

AJ, enjoying life with C.