Random

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Random
9
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 1:05am
nevermind..dont want to talk about it.


Edited 3/3/2006 2:07 am ET by rubyshoes03

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: rubyshoes03
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 7:42am
Hope you're doing ok :)
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: rubyshoes03
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 7:45am

Yeah...I'm feeling kinda crappy this week, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
In reply to: rubyshoes03
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 9:02am
Well, if you change your mind, we're here for you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: rubyshoes03
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 12:28pm

Ok so the real question was...

If the well-being of someone you cared about was at stake but you didn't know what could/would really happen...would you do something about it (such as voicing a gut feeling) or is that over-reacting? Yes this involves a minor child running or hurting themselves (and its not me.)

And I study psych so I'm torn between what I know in my field and what I should do personally.

Ruby

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
In reply to: rubyshoes03
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 12:56pm

This sounds like a tough situation. It is hard to know what to suggest since we know even fewer of the details than you. "Gut feelings" can be sticky situations. If you KNOW a child is being hurt or neglected you darn well better ACT, not just 'say' something. But, it sounds like you just suspect something might happen. If that is the case I guess you have to wait and watch carefully.

Is it posible the situation isn't serious and this actually isn't your business? I am simply asking a question that must be asked. You mentioned you are 'studying' pyschology. That reminded me of a quote I read a few years ago. I don't know who said it, but it went like this: "Only a half-trained mechanic thinks everything needs fixing." I don't know you so I don't know if that describes you or not; I hope it doesn't.

I'm sure someone else has different advice than me. They usually do. Good luck!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: rubyshoes03
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 1:03pm

This is my sister I'm talking about. And she's 17 (18 in a month). And any harm to her would be done by her own hand.

I'm more concerned about her as a sister than as a student of psych. I know what my training is telling me to do but I don't know how to act as her sister.

Ruby

Photobucket


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
In reply to: rubyshoes03
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 1:20pm

Ruby,

I don't know what your relationship with your sister is or what the perceived danger is so it's hard to really comment on your situation. My sister and I are extremely close. This doesn't mean that we don't fight or p*ss one another off, but it does mean that we don't keep things from one another and that we always get past the problems. If I am worried about her behavior hurting her, I am able to talk with her about it. She may get defensive and annoyed or think that I am over stepping my bounds but she will eventually realize that I only say things out of love for her and when I am REALLY worried and then she gets over it.

Same thing with one of my cousins with whom I am very, very close. She was being a bit promiscuous at one phase in her early 20s and it started to worry me - I feared that she was doing it out of a lack of self respect or self worth. I finally sat her down and talked with her about it. She explained that she did not have any confidence issues and that she was just having fun (I believed her). So then we had the talk about how I hoped that she was being safe and she assured me that she always used condoms. This did not stop her from getting HPV, however, and she has the more dangerous strain. Now she has to be closely followed medically for the rest of her life (her mother has has breast cancer and so her cancer risk level is quite high).

I don't know if that helps at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
In reply to: rubyshoes03
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 1:27pm
I'm kind of going through the same thing with a sibling, only he's not a child - he's 25.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
In reply to: rubyshoes03
Fri, 03-03-2006 - 4:26pm

There are a couple of things that come to my mind when I think about my younger sister. First of all, I will protect her by any means necessary. It doesn't matter to me if I come off as over-protective, mean, bossy, intrusive, etc. It doesn't matter if I am following any rules or standards. Assuming she's in harm's way, I will do just about anything to prevent it.

That said, the second thing that comes to mind is how much power you may actually have to do something about the situation. If someone's hurting her, is she letting them? If she's jumping in front of busses, are you able to go and intercept every bus? Or, can you actually remove the problem from the situation? Depending on this scale, you measure the cost/worth of you're interference against the likely results.

I know whatever you're dealing with has got to be confusing so I hope you can find the strength and wisdom to make the choice.