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| Sun, 03-19-2006 - 5:14pm |
Last night I was told (by a guy) that I was giving off "don't talk to me" signals.
| Sun, 03-19-2006 - 5:14pm |
Last night I was told (by a guy) that I was giving off "don't talk to me" signals.
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Eeew, I HATE when a guy asks me to dance and he puts his knee between my legs!!!
I know what you mean about guys and dancing- who taught them this was acceptable?
As far as getting approached, I think you have to just actually smile at someone, or make conversation, or something. I know I have been making a concerted effort to do exactly this, and I've been getting hit on every time.
My trick is this, though- I'll walk up to the bar, find a crowded spot, say excuse me, and smile at a guy, and then he usually starts a conversation. I smile, nod, whatever, the acual conversation doesn't really matter, but OTHER guys seem to see me looking friendly, then for the rest of the night, I'm being approached. Most of the guys get weeded out for a variety of reasons, and I learned this unintentionally, but it's a great way to meet new people, if nothing else.
Sorry about the smoke thing- luckily for me, in NY there's no smoking indoors anymore, so I don't go home smelling like an ashtray anymore.
Unluckily for me in NY, we had 5 inches of snow today- wish I could send it to you, although it probably isn't enough for a snow day, I wish it wasn't here at all!
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I'm doing good to make eye contact right now!
I just found out today I can take Friday and Saturday off, so I'll be having a much-needed three-day weekend.
You know what might work if eye contact is hard... look at his eyebrows, or the spot between his eyes. Near his eyes, but not directly into them, you know? At least until the converstaion is started. I practiced A LOT with this (and with all people, not just guys) especially in non confrontational places, like the library, work, wherever I was, because I was sooo painfully shy.
I have been there, and it feels good for me to know that now I can get a conversation started when I want to. It has helped in other ways, too, like I can face difficult situations at work, and so on. So, for me, being shy was hindering other areas of my life, and I needed to overcome it.
My friends have definitely noticed the difference. I have just taken the attitude that "I know I'm successful, attractive, and have something great to offer. If a guy isn't into me, it's totally his loss." The self confidence has made guys sit up and take notice.
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Ladies, I have answers to all your problems this morning.
I am sitting here in the middle of a snowstorm. It has been snowing (on and off) since Friday night. We have about a foot on the ground and more is coming. I have drifts all over, with the deepest being 30 inches. Yes, we have a snow day. I'd rather have school so I can get my summer started sooner, but I have been getting a lot of other work done this morning.
Also, it is quite quiet and lonely out here. I would love a dancing partner, and I promise to keep my leg under me and not between your legs. Eye contact could be maintained, but it would not be required.
Let me know if you need directions to my little school house on the prairie.
You just summed up why I hate the bar/nighclub scene. I was out Friday night with some coworkers, and the married girl said to me... "I just don't get why you're single. You're pretty, smart and I see guys check you out all the time."
A nice compliment, but it did get me thinking. I think I give off that same "don't talk to me vibe," Shy, and I can't figure it out, either. I smile, make eye contact, try not to cross my arms, etc. I think maybe my general disgust with smoky loud bars comes across on my face.
The good news - they are about to pass a smoking ban here. WOO HOO. That will make going out a lot nicer - and I won't have to go home with my clothes reaking of smoke. :)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
I am so excited about that ban passing! I sent that petition in and made everyone I know do the same. I'm not super activist woman on a lot of things but that one I definitely was. I know it's a bar and I know people smoke but when I can't see 15 feet across the room, there is a problem.
Shy, I identify with you a lot on this. I really do believe that some of us are more approachable than others. I think a lot of it is natural chemistry and I don't like that some people don't even have to try while others really have to work. There is, however, something to be said for getting out there and taking the risk. I think it is something you have to practice (I know I do).
Flirting is really easy for me, unless it's a stranger and then, I'm hopeless. I met a guy this weekend (at the mall, of all places) and he was so adorable that I literally lost my ability to speak. I'm such a girl when it comes to things like that. Somehow though, I did agree to get him to participate in an event I'm organizing though, so that's something. Otherwise, I have no "skills"- I think you just have to figure it out as you go along.
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