Really down
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| Mon, 08-28-2006 - 3:31pm |
I have been trying so hard to maintain an optimistic attitude, but I keep getting disappointed by dating.
Last night, I was supposed to have date #2 with a guy I really liked. Well, he called to cancel because he reconciled with an ex girlfriend between our first date (Tuesday) and the weekend.
It was like the straw that broke the camel's back. I broke down in tears after his call - not over this guy, but over being single in general. Each guy that doesn't work out is just one big, fat reminder that I'm alone still. Lately, I can't make it past date two, and I am so losing hope of ever connecting with someone in a meaningful way again. My last real relationship was more than a year ago, and I have had had a string of disappointing starts since then.
I know you will all say to focus on me, my friends, what I like to do, etc. The thing is, I already DO all that. I have a great life that I enjoy and great friends and family. Literally, the only thing missing is the special man with whom to share it. (Ok, that and a million dollars to travel the world in luxury). I think I have become as happy as a single person as I will ever be, and I still haven't lost the longing to be with someone long term.
Thanks for listening.

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I know how you feel.
I've also got a great life and everything else I could want but none of it takes away from that yearning to have a love in my life. A yearning I feel every single day. Sometimes I feel like I'd trade some of the other cool things I have in my life for love, it means that much more to me.
Didn't have any advice, just providing some empathy.
Just wanted to give you a hug and say that I understand. I don't know how to deal with that longing and disappointment, either, and I have a pretty darn great life on my own, too.
And I'm turning 48 in two weeks and the pool keeps getting smaller and smaller and smaller. Each failed date is making me lose hope, too. I've been basically single for 9 years now, since my last LTR of 4 years ended--with a few short-term relationships here and there.
Lately I've been experimenting with settling for less than what I want because I just don't friggin' want to be alone anymore. But that sucks, too.
I don't know what the answer is. But I totally empathize.
But I think at this point I'd just take the million dollars to travel and give up on love, LOL!
Sheri
All your life, you are told and you learn that things aren't fair. You just never expect to be a perfect example of that.
Hang in there.
Here's a great bug hug for you!
As for your dilemma, things WILL get better. Just think if you actually developed a relationship with this guy, and THEN he decided to reconcile with his former girlfriend. Yuck! I am a believer that things happen the way they are meant to. Just try to hold onto your heart long enough for the man with whom you are meant to be. Nothing is more precious than YOU!:)
muffy65
I've got nothing to say to make you feel better...the same old stuff seems so trite and overdone. But just lots of good positive vibes your way.
Oh and "boys suck, throw rocks at them."
Ruby
Thanks, everyone, for your encouraging and empathetic words. I am so glad I have this board and all of you on those rough days.
I guess whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Ruby, I like your rocks comment. :) Sheri, yeah - if I come up with a million dollars, how 'bout you and I bail on all the men and travel the world? It does seem like the dating pool is a 'kiddie pool.' Ha ha. It's rare for someone who seems like a keeper to swim by. If I ever catch one, you can bet I'll be more thankful than most for him, because it's taking so long to find him.
I am sure things will look better tomorrow, or next week or next year. I do pray, biochic, and I agree that it helps a lot on those blue days. I also talk to good friends, family, take a walk through the park, go to the gym... All of those things help.
Lesley - yeah, I'm feeling like the poster child for "it's not fair" these days, but I am sure we all have those days. I'm trying so hard not to wallow in my loneliness, and I know there are others in my same situation and much, much worse. I guess I'll try counting my blessings today.
Thanks again, all. Today is a new day, right?
AJ, enjoying life with C.
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