This really irks me!!!
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| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 11:17am |
Hi all - I just need to vent for a sec.
So about two weeks ago I had this really horrible sinus infection. I ran a fever, was coughing, blowing my nose, and in general felt exhausted and awful. But I still managed to get to work every day, my classes on time, I took several tests (passed them as well) and managed to do my hospital clinical (even though I shouldn't have but it was required - if I missed it I would have failed the clinical).
SOOO... now my BF has the same virus. And he's a slug. He's acting like a *&^%&^!A! baby. I get home last night from a four-hour lecture class at 10 p.m. after working all day and he's sitting on the couch watching TV - and he gets home at about 6 p.m. The dirty dishes are piled up in the sink, the dishwasher hasn't been unloaded, etc. And I am absolutely fuming at this point.
So I start unloading the dishes and I am SLAMMING them around. He comes upstairs when I'm FINISHED and says "Oh, sorry...I'll do that..." And I say, "Don't worry about it... it's already DONE."
And then he wonders why I stomp off to bed almost crying. Why does HE get to act like a wounded baby when he has a virus but I have to keep doing MY work??
/HAPPYPLACEHAPPYPLACEHAPPYPLACEHAPPYPLACE

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Didn't you know that women aren't allowed to be sick, but that the world must stop and then begin revolving around a man when he's sick? LOL.
Every guy I've ever dated has been a big, fat baby when he's sick. In my ex's defense, he was also really good at taking care of me when I was sick.
So, I say next time YOU are sick, ask for his help. Be honest about really not feeling well and let him know that you do need him. Also, let yourself be a bit of a slug. If you let him take care of you (and I hope he will), then you will feel better about babying him the next time around. :)
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Men are such babies.
LOL
Okay well there is a huge difference between men and women when it comes to being sick. Most men tend to be big babies. But just because you chose to run around like a chicken with your head cut off going to school, work, doing your clinical etc and your boyfriend didn't do the dishes doesn't really justify you slamming around the kitchen.
Why would him being sick and being a slug one day have to be compared to when you were sick??? Why does it even have to be a competition of what you did when you were sick and what he's doing when he's sick? I don't think you were very fair to him.
Smile,
Deirdre
Smile,
Deirdre
>Why does it even have to be a competition of what you did when you were sick and what he's doing when he's sick? I don't think you were very fair to him.<
I see what you're saying, and I was afraid that original post was going to be taken as a statement of competition. But it's not what I intended to imply.
I guess my intention was to say that I'm doing everything I'm doing, and even when I'm sick, I still at least put forth some sort of effort to maintain the household. Especially the dirty dishes. We already have had flies in the house because of dirty dishes left in the sink.
When HE'S sick, he does nothing but come home from work (if he even went) and sits on his butt and leaves dishes in the sink, garbage on the floor, and snotty tissues everywhere for me to clean up when I get home at 10 p.m.
And what really makes me mad is that we have discussed this issue. And it helps for a day or so and then goes right back to where it was.
If I left the household up to him, we would be living in squalor. And it's the "I'm sick so I can't load the dishwasher" thing that gets to me. He's got the energy to play on the computer for hours on end with his iPod but he can't take 15 minutes to do something to maintain the household for the two of us.
Hmmmm... I saw a similar complaint/rant on another board about how men are babies with pain/illness. Apprarently it's fairly common or just the women who are attracted to posting on iVillage relationship boards attract men who are babies ?
For me I grew up in a "suck it up" Japanese American stoic family of three brothers plus I have a high physical pain threshold. No coincidence that I married a non-nurturing woman who sent our 5 yr old son up asking me if I need anything when I was half dead in bed with the flu.
The guy friends I have, as far as I know, are men who are fairly self sufficient and nuturing with their SOs/wives.
BTW my 18 yr old son has the same suck-it-up approach while my 14 yr old daughter is the whiner. But to her credit when she is really sick she goes off and takes care of herself without whining.
Mark
I should have added that my brother-in-law is incredibly stoic when it comes to sickness or pain, and will work through anything. He sliced his whole thigh once on a barbed-wire fence and didn't even go to the doctor. He went home, sat in the bathtub and poured hydrogen peroxide on it and went on with life. :)
My dad and other brother-in-law, on the other hand, fall firmly into the "big baby" camp. :)
These are the men with whom I am most familiar, in addition to all my "big-baby-but-understanding" exes.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa %-(
You have to be more direct around men. All that anger doesn't help the situation. And now he's tense and STILL doesn't get it! If you want him to do the dishes, tell him that you want him to do the dishes. And don't try to pick up the slack on your own. You'll just feel more resentment. I know how men think. In fact, I kind of relate to them. Living with a man who's "such a woman" probably made me more like a man. But he'll expect us (me and my sister) to get the hint, to know what to do. Well, basically, he expects us to be more like women than we actually are. Take it from a woman who is "64% masculine". He's not going to figure it out, himself. Besides--and I'm sure many men and guyish women will agree--it's easier to take direct orders, than it is to figure them out on your own.
Anyways, at least he offered to do the dishes (late, but better late than never). He could be like my ex--a needy cry-baby who "doesn't like to deal with things".
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