This really irks me!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
This really irks me!!!
21
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 11:17am

Hi all - I just need to vent for a sec.

So about two weeks ago I had this really horrible sinus infection. I ran a fever, was coughing, blowing my nose, and in general felt exhausted and awful. But I still managed to get to work every day, my classes on time, I took several tests (passed them as well) and managed to do my hospital clinical (even though I shouldn't have but it was required - if I missed it I would have failed the clinical).

SOOO... now my BF has the same virus. And he's a slug. He's acting like a *&^%&^!A! baby. I get home last night from a four-hour lecture class at 10 p.m. after working all day and he's sitting on the couch watching TV - and he gets home at about 6 p.m. The dirty dishes are piled up in the sink, the dishwasher hasn't been unloaded, etc. And I am absolutely fuming at this point.

So I start unloading the dishes and I am SLAMMING them around. He comes upstairs when I'm FINISHED and says "Oh, sorry...I'll do that..." And I say, "Don't worry about it... it's already DONE."

And then he wonders why I stomp off to bed almost crying. Why does HE get to act like a wounded baby when he has a virus but I have to keep doing MY work??

/HAPPYPLACEHAPPYPLACEHAPPYPLACEHAPPYPLACE

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 2:54pm
Next time, ask him to pick up the slack while you're sick. If he complains, remind him that you did it for him when he was ill.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 4:41pm

Then it really has nothing to do with him being sick and everything to do with that's how he is all the time right? It's just bugging you more because when you were sick you managed to maintain the house on top of everything when you were sick too. Maybe your discovering your relationship isn't so balanced.

How long have you two been together?




Edited 6/6/2007 4:43 pm ET by lovinhockey17

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 5:17pm

>Maybe your discovering your relationship isn't so balanced. How long have you two been together?<

Too long I sometimes think! lol!

We've lived together for two years and we've been dating for about four years. Unfortunately I've always known he's like this. When we were dating his apartment was a wreck. So I knew about this already.

But I have to give him credit - when he's not ill, USUALLY he'll at least put forth SOME effort on something. Whether it's cleaning the cat boxes or getting the groceries sometimes. And I make sure I thank him for it.

Maybe I did fly off the handle last night. :(

(Although I still think it's no excuse to say "I'm so sick I can't clean up after myself so I'll leave it here for the next person to clean.")

*sigh* Sometimes I wonder if relationships really are worth it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 5:23pm

I think that we as women tend to be superwomen and we expect everyone else to be as well and while it may be nice for them to be too we can't expect them to follow the same protocol as us and while it may be an excuse "let someone pick up after me because I'm sick" eh sometimes we like to be babied when we are sick. Next time you are sick, try letting him baby you for a change, try not being superwoman. Next time ask him if he wouldn't mind doing the dishes when you are sick or making you some soup!!!

If he does help around the house when he's feeling good, I think when he's under the weather you could cut him some slack and when you are feeling under the weather, maybe you shouldn't try doing it all and maybe let him pitch in...try being a shlub for a change...it's fun sometimes. LOL

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 8:37pm

>try being a shlub for a change...it's fun sometimes. LOL<

LOL! So I should embrace the inner shlub - I'll make sure I do that! :)

Eh - It's probably better I do that anyway!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 9:34pm

I am not big on the slamming thing . . LOL . . . and it is not a competition . . but from a guy who has not seen a Dr since 03 at least . . . and has no help around his own house as I am my own house keeper . . . . .and puts in impossible hours . . you win this one.

I am taking your side, you did not chose to do your job and keep up with school, you HAD to . . . loading a dishwasher is not so hard. And . . Video games? How old if BF? (-: Men are not babies . . video games .. . could be a boy in the house. LOL

On this one, you win.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Wed, 06-06-2007 - 9:42pm

I agree with this much . . . and just posted something that this strikes a cord with.

Men are slow on the uptake sometimes. (-: Just tell him and chances are tomorrow it will be done. Assuming the best of BF of course. A little help is hardly a big deal, and it is “manly” to suck it up . . .keep that in mind when you tell him, be sure to point it out. LOL

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 1:20pm
I know how it is to be slow on the uptake. I have autism. It makes my a little more "masculine", I think.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 9:38pm

Maybe . . .LOL . . . some good guys are just a little blind. I think you get it. (-: Help them along with a little trust . . .and you might be surprised what you find. I wish I were as smart as I try to sound . . . always easer looking from the outside in . . .

Avatar for filiasan
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 2:17pm
Ain't that the truth. Well I guess it'll be easier for me, because I'm the type who's always been on the outside, looking in. Kind of sad, isn't it? But yeah, I am an observer type. I don't like seeing when women act like stereotypes. I see a lot of that though.