Red Flag or not?
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|Thu, 07-25-2013 - 9:01pm|
ads started dating a man who was in my friend group (prior to dating I knew him casually for about a year) about a month ago. He is generous, kind, successful, and cute enough! Last tonight he said that he could really "fall " for me and it scared him because he has his own trust issues coming from his past. He doesn't feel comfortable with my "baggage", ie I am friends with my exes He wonders if I keep the exes around and if I flirt to keep my "toe" in the water and have back ups available. I asked him what he wanted and he said he didn't know. Here is a lot of chemistry between us.
So this morning I got to thinking. Saying you are afraid to fall for someone is like saying he is breaking up because he loves me too much. That is such a ridiculous statement, particularly at our early dating stage. Acting like I have problems with my exes is also questionable - these exes are exes for a reason and in fact should show that I care about the men I am with, not that I am being insecure (which is what my date seems to be saying).
And now I am not sure. We have chemistry for sure. But to be coming up with "my" problems at this stage just seems to be such a red flag. What do you think? Is asking a date of one month to get rid of her "baggage" (ie quit hanging out with exes) because he is so into me it is "scarey" Fair or a red flag? Is telling someone this early on they see red flags a red flag in and of itself?