Relationship TImelines

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2011
Relationship TImelines
24
Tue, 03-06-2012 - 7:16pm

When you began dating your boyfriend/SO, did you have any personal timelines in place?

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Tue, 03-06-2012 - 11:07pm

Me thinks you committed too fast.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Tue, 03-06-2012 - 11:46pm

Very well said, xxxs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Wed, 03-07-2012 - 8:26am

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Wed, 03-07-2012 - 8:38am

I agree with others. I've been in a couple of long-distance relationships when I was in my 20s and I've known other people who have. And it's so easy to build up this fantasy when you talk every day and see each other from time to time. And when you do, it's like a vacation. You don't have time to see the annoying features that he has for example. And there can't be love if you don't know and accept his imperfections. Many people do get dissapointed once they start interacting on a daily basis, because they didn't actually know each other.

You mention that you're very busy, so what do you want from a man ? Do you want one who's there from time to time ? Or you want someone who could be more involved? I see that you're trying to defend his schedule, but will you be ok with a boyfriend like that ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2012
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 1:46am

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2011
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 11:16am

I haven't disappeard, just absorbing all of the wonderful advice that has been offered.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2005
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 1:07pm

I think that if you ride it out and see where it goes without taking any decisions or changing anything, it will just continue long-distance. You mentionned that he's working to get a promotion, so that's his goal ? It's not making sure that he can transfer closer to you, so you can have a normal relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2011
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 1:20pm

Anita, he's actually AF.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 03-08-2012 - 9:42pm

I think if you know that you have an end time period in sight there's no problem w/ keeping things as they are for a while longer as long as you are having fun.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Fri, 03-09-2012 - 9:11am
Are the two of you exclusive? If you aren't, I'd suggest seeing other people until he's ready to commit. (Google circular dating)