Relying on oneself

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Relying on oneself
22
Wed, 11-30-2011 - 10:58pm

Got home from exercise to an email from Mr Smith telling me he needs to cancel our plan to get together next week (business reason) and that his family just announced they'll be flying in on Dec 20 to spend 3 weeks with him for the holiday. Now I won't see him until January, and that just won't work for me.

Mr Hot n Cold has sent a half dozen texts since he got back, including several from his office today, but made no move to suggest we get together.

The man I thought I might go see in Chicago in January, a lost love from 9 years ago, who is incredibly interesting, smart and sexy, called this morning to uninvite me from coming to visit him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2010
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 1:16am

Trust me, you are not alone in feeling this way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2011
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 1:37am

Thanks, Peb.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 1:56am
I sense the pain and frustration in your posting Marina. The holidays are certainly hard for those who do not have a partner and/or family to share it with. Been there, done that.

I too would have a hard time with someone who I hope to have a future with who tells me that I'm not first priority in their life, especially over the holidays.

For me that would be enough to end it and not waste my emotional energy to force something that is not there for the other person.

I wish you Peace Marina.

Mark
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2011
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 4:52am

Sorry Pbe, what you feel for the guy is not love. What it is, is a mixture of fantasy and good memories that exists in your head. In the end your love of self trumped everything else. And that's not what love is about.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2011
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 5:07am

I need to rely on only myself

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 7:07am

You are correct that this country was founded on rugged individualism, but I think that mindset has contributed to much loneliness and disconnection in our culture. We feel it is almost a weakness to need other people, but we are a species that was meant to be interconnected, and a romantic partner is just one part of the picture.

Among the rural villages in central Africa, there is a saying that goes, “You can travel faster alone but farther together.”

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 9:42am

Ubuntu

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2011
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 9:55am
Never heard that before but I love that saying. Probably what keeps me in the hunt after several disappointments. Am fine alone, but I know I would be happier with someone - but it has to be the right someone, which is the challenge.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 10:04am

Yep; that is def. the challenge. Finding someone to connect with and then the chemistry and on and on.. It almost seems impossible and then throw in a bunch of variables and it gets more challenging.

I mean there could be a great guy or girl somewhere out there but the trick is to find them.

The ones I have met OLD is either I like them and they dont like me.. Or other way around.. Or they live in another state and I would be willing to try LTR but they dont. Men I have met IRL are okay but they go after younger, prettier, bigger boobs, etc. just reality of life..

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 10:23am

I get in these moods every so often, being very down about never finding anyone.

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