A sad ending to a happy time
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| Fri, 04-06-2007 - 5:13pm |
Hi everyone,
I haven't been around in a while and almost feel like I don't deserve to post this because I've taken a break from the boards, but I'm going to post anyway :)
Long story short, my "relationship" or sorts ended last week...it was with a friend who is 7 years my junior (he's 21, I'm 28) and what started out as us just being friends, it turned into "friends" (if you know what I mean) and has been going on for the past 5 months, and things were great. He turned into one of my closest friends, everyone would tease us about the fact that we wouldn't call it anything (it seemed to make things easier) and I went into this telling myself we were just having fun, but of course, I'm the type of girl that gets more involved sooner or later.
Gradually, we would spend more time together, go out on "dates" and just have a good time, and I loved it. Of course in the back of my mind I'm thinking "he's 21, we'll never be on the same page, he has several years before he'll be ready for what I'm going to be ready for in a couple of years, or even now" and last week it kind of all came down. We were out with his cousin (the three of us hang out together a lot) and it basically came down to me totally overreacting to something he said and I got pissed and wouldn't even look him in the eye the rest of the night. We talked the next day over IM and we both agreed that for the sake of the friendship, we need to take a break from the sex, and it's true. The problem is that he is my best friends nephew (he lives with them) so I see him when I go down there (that's how this all started), and I'm not going to stop going down there and I'm not going to stop being his friend. We both care about each other, and he said that it's better that things end now rather then us carrying on, getting more attached and when it ended later down the road, we wouldn't even be able to be friends, and he's right.
I know you are all probably going to say that we can't be friends now and I shouldn't even talk to him, but I don't want that. And I know it's probably naieve of me to think that we can be friends, but well, call me naieve.
I'm just trying to seek comfort in the fact that I've been through breakups before and have come out a better, and wiser person, and I know that in time, this will be a distant memory to me and I'll be able to look at it and not get upset, but it just hurts right now. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster all week, I'm fine one morning then by afternoon I can't stop crying, and that is what I HATE. I keep telling myself that there is someone out there that is an even better match for me, someone that has all of his qualities that I like and he'll be in the same place that I am. It's just so hard right now, going from talking to someone every single day for the past 5 months and seeing each other every week to trying to take this time apart, part of me feels like I lost my best friend and while the two of us never called it anything, it was the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. I was finally able to be myself around someone, and trust someone, let someone in and enjoy the time we had together, and part of me is so afraid to go through this again because I don't want to go through this again, and I think the reason why this one hurts the worst is because I finally got to feel what it was like to be with someone who cares about me.



Rebecca, I don't think that it's important that you haven't posted here in a while : ) Post away!
Someone else on the boards recently suffered a break-up. A lot of the sentiments went along the lines of: "Instead of telling you things you don't want to hear . . ." so, in conjunction, it's difficult to put folks at ease when they have gone through something such as this. There is no magic pill to take the hurt away. All I can tell you is that many of us have been there and time does heal. I wish I could say more but anything I may say would pale in comparison to what you are going through. I can say that I'm sorry.
Hugs to you. I hope that you find another loving relationship, an even better one, some day : ) I'm sure you will.
Yep, I know exactly what you're going through.
Thanks for your response girls, it's nice to know that I can come back here after an extended absence and still receive support :)
I'm actually feeling better, I came over to my friends yesterday and the boy and I worked out together, then we all went out to dinner and just hung out last night, like old times, and it was nice. I think getting back into the routine helps to get the friendship back, if that makes sense.
And Sarah, it's great to hear from you! How have you been?
Rebecca,
I am very sorry to hear about the breakup, and I am glad to hear that there is hope in working something out where you can be friends.
I can only imagine how hard it must be to finally find someone who cares about you and one day it all falls apart.
To be honest, I think this is the reason that I am so picky when it comes to dating. Because if I do ever find someone and we hit it off, she cares about me and understands me, and we bond, a breakup would just kill me.
While I realize that things happen to everyone, it would affect me in a whole different way than it would most people because of everything else that has happened to me in my lifetime. So I want to be sure, that when I do findsomeone and we hit it off, that I know that it will last forever.
I wish you the best of luck. Keep us posted and let us know how things are going.