The Satisfaction of Friendships

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
The Satisfaction of Friendships
15
Mon, 05-20-2013 - 10:47pm

I had a pretty busy weekend and I was thinking about how great it is to have friendships and how they almost make up for the lack of a boyfriend.

First on Fri. night I went to a dance class/practice that they have every Friday but which I haven't gone to in a while.  After it was over, I decided to go out to the nearby Mexican restaurant with a woman and a married couple.  I haven't known the married couple for that long & just found out recently that the man is also a lawyer and then Friday night we found out that we went to the same college & graduated 2 yrs apart, so we had a nice night, some laughs and then he ended up paying the bill for all of us, so I had a free night too.

Then Sat. night my friend who is a nurse was celebrating that she is finally not having to work every Sat. night--we went out to an Italian restaurant that's on the waterfront--it ended up being 10 women I think--some of them I didn't know, but it was a nice group, the dinner was really good & we had some laughs--after dinner we went to a nightclub which I don't like that much, but I figured I'd have the attitude of just going to dance with my friends and not expect to meet anyone, so that was tolerable.  I like the music but I'm not all that thrilled w/ the guys who go there.  I enjoyed the dinner part of the night more.

Then Sun. I got together w/ 3 other women to do more practicing for the dance show we are in--we went to one woman's house and after we practiced for a while, then we ate dinner together and had a glass of wine & just talked about a lot of stuff.  The 4 of us couldn't be more different--one woman is from kind of the tough part of the city, one is from Brazil and one is about 10 yrs younger than the other 3 and the only one who doesn't have kids, but we all get along.  

So I was just thinking about how valuable my friendships are, esp. the ones with women and how probably 90% of the time, I actually don't care about being with men.  I find it so much easier to be with women--more accepting, fun, you don't have to worry about being rejected for your looks.  So I wouldn't care that much about finding a man if it weren't for 2 things--I do dancing that requires a partner and the biggie--sex!  I'm just too young to give that up.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 05-24-2013 - 11:22pm
Yes men can be more trouble than they are worth. Personally, I enjoy my female friends company more than a mans company. If you can find one that doesn't have any addictions and is easy going and easy to please then that's a keeper.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 05-24-2013 - 6:39pm

My 1st DH was a big sports fan so he was happy that I liked sports and we could watch games together.  Before we got married, I got season tickets to my college's football games and we used to go together.  Now my 2nd DH was not a big sports fan so it didn't matter to him. In fact, he was quite annoying to me.  He didn't like the local football team, he liked another team, which would have been fine except he just needled me & my DD (another big sports fan) against our team to the point where I couldn't enjoy watching the games any more.  I was really happy after he was gone that I could just enjoy games again.  I do think that men really don't usually care if women enjoy sports that much as a lot of them want something they can do with other guys.  Yet I have a couple of female friends from high school who got season tickets to pro football with their families, bringing their kids and making a family event out of it.

Like I said, I could do without men except for dancing & sex.  For other things, going out with just women is sometimes more enjoyable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Thu, 05-23-2013 - 11:56pm

That's interesting.  That has not been my experience.  I am well versed on football and baseball and addition to other sports.  I am also well-read on world affairs and government. Many men have told me they admire my intellect and ability to converse on any subject.  Yet, when I look at the women they actually have married or eventually marry, they are the antithesis of me:  decidedly incurious and traditional in their interests.

Bottom line, the women men say they admire and the women they actually marry are very different. Maybe men just don't really know what they want.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Thu, 05-23-2013 - 11:51pm

Honestly, most of the time I believe men are more trouble than they are worth.  Not having to please a man is so freeing.  Now if you are in the minority of women who finds a real keeper, that is a different story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 05-23-2013 - 3:02am

Well then when football you could always hit the sports bars with another single GF that likes football on a Sat or Sun afternoon and see what happens. When my H's home team was not playing on TV I would sometimes go with him to the sports bars and watch the Packer game. Lots of men there sitting at different tables watching the games, often 2 together at a table for 4 so all the tables were taken which means my H and I often have to share a table with a couple of guys. Might be a way to meet some men since "men love it when a women loves football" right? 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 05-22-2013 - 10:03pm

Yes I think you really have to make an effort to find other single people to do things with.  When I was first divorced, I joined a women's group figuring that it would be good to try to make women friends first before trying to date.  There were a lot of nice women in this group, but practically all of them were married & also older, so the only time I saw them was 1-2 times a month at group meetings--like a small group of us would go out to dinner once a month, and it was very nice and I got to go to different restaurants, but I never saw any of them on weekends, which is when I needed to find people.  Plus a lot of them apparently had way more money than me (since they were married & usually 2incomes w/ grown kids) so they would be talking about their various trips and 2nd house in Florida and it was hard to relate to that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2012
Wed, 05-22-2013 - 3:47pm

I am glad to hear you had such a great time! The dancing sound like fun, and it is nice to share laughs with people who are different from each other - but still can be good friends! Smile

I wish I had friends to be with like that. We had a big holiday last weekend, and the only ones I could be with with were my parents (who I love! But still...). All my friends were with a boyfriend or their family, and it feels somewhat silly to walk around with my folks like I was a kid... Anyway. I do not live near all of my best friends, and I miss them sorely. Some of them would definitely join me to the things I like, either they have family or not. The friends I have here are wonderful, but mostly too occupied to meet me for longer than two hours. I would love to meet new people who share my interests.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 05-22-2013 - 10:57am

I would love to have a man to watch football with--I'm a big fan.  When I told the guy mentioned in my other post that I was a football fan, he said "Men love women who like football."  I said "well it really hasn't helped me so far."  Actually my 1st DH & I used to like watching sports together. I think it's so boring to watch golf on TV, although I don't think you could really see much better in person since it seems like they would either stay at one hole & watch everyone who comes through or move around to see one player, so you don't know what's going on in the whole match, but my 87 yr old mom is always watching golf.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 05-22-2013 - 2:20am
Wow..sounds like you had a really fun weekend. Yes good girlfriends are really important. Especially when your H prefers to spend his weekends staying home and watching football and golf. lol
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 05-21-2013 - 10:58pm

My best friend and I were getting all sappy about a week ago and have decided that we're soul mates, a la Sex And The City.  I only wish she lived closer.  I'm one of those people who only have a handful of very close friends and not a lot of acquaintances.  Unfortunately, though I know there's a lot of love & respect, most of them are married with kids so get-togethers are rare & everyone in my class seems to live an hour from school, in the opposite direction of my hour drive.  One of the married gals asked today what I was doing for the holiday.  I was like, ummm . . . nuttin'.  She was probably expecting some elaborate function being that I'm young-ish and single.  Not that I'm whining, because I rarely get the urge to go out.  Heck, weekends show up and I'm in relax mode.  I do kind of miss some of my old, male drinking buddies but that's another topic ;)

My bestie plans out her weekends every week, too.  Hers are like your last one almost on the regular(she also loves to dance).  

I agree though, there's nothing like good girlfriends; whether you see each other once a week or once a year!

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