Saw the guy again

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Saw the guy again
10
Sun, 04-21-2013 - 8:53pm

Update--for all you who read that about a month ago I had a date with a guy who asked me to a dance.  I hadn't heard from him since Easter so I figured that was it and he wasn't interested.  Back when we had the date, I had told him about this "dance camp" that my dance school has--I wasn't asking him to go, I was just teling him that I was going and he said he might go, but I didn't think he would since it's kind of expensive.  What it is --they have it at a really nice beach resort and you can take classes all day Sat. & Sun. and then Sat. night they have a nice dinner dance.  

So I get an email from him Friday that says he is going to the dance.  I was so surprised.  I went down Sat. a.m. & figured I wouldn't see him until night but then I am eating lunch with some friends during the break & he walked into the restaurant, looking for me.  We ended up taking a class together, then I was supposed to have another class, but he convinced me not to go to it & take a walk on the beach.  It was still kind of cold out there so we went into the bar & had coffee.  Then I went to change for dinner.  We had a nice dinner--he ended up basically sitting at a table with all the single ladies who are my friends and was very good natured about it.  I told him he had to dance with all of them and he probably did cause I was also dancing with the other men I know.  I was staying over at the hotel but he was driving home, about an hour.  Around 10:00 he said he was going to leave soon & was heading to the men's room.  When he didn't come back for a while, and people were pretty much leaving the dance, I figured he might be in the bar trying to get coffee (which he had mentioned) and instead 2 of the girls had lured him into getting a beer!  I sat down for a drink and then a few more friends came in & we ended up hanging out there for a while.  When he left, he kissed me on the lips in front of everybody.  I had already made plans to go to a dance next Sat. that our meetup group is planning so I asked him if he was going also--he said "I wouldn't miss that" so hopefully he will actually go & we'll see each other again.  It will be interesting to see how he acts in this group which is more his friends than mine, including his exGF (and still friend) who is the organizer (and she is someone I know & like).

What I liked about him was that he is fun and will joke around but he also has good manners, which you don't seem to find in a lot of men these days.  For ex, we had to go to the bar to get drinks during dinner cause they didn't have a cocktail waitress in there, so besides asking if I wanted a drink, since my friend was standing there, he also asked her if he could buy her one.  And when we were in the bar, my friend had a dress on that had thin staps and she was complaining that the a/c was on too high & she was cold, so he gave her his suit jacket to wear.  So I definitely like him--just waiting to see how he feels about me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-27-2002
Thu, 04-25-2013 - 5:35pm

Hey Music,

Wow......that sounds great!  He obviously demonstrated a pretty strong interest in you to kiss you in front of everyone.  Yet, he had good manners (something that many men lack - I can't believe how some of them behave......I just don't think they're clued in!!).

I also think it's great that you're so involved in many groups, etc.  It sounds like it gets you out with other people, not just searching for Mr. Right.......

Just my 2 cents but I would let this one slowly simmer.......clearly he is interested and you both attend the same events.  Things should progress along their natural course......(unlike OLD, you don't have to send a random text or call into the ether, because you have *no* idea what the guy is possibly up to, or if you will ever see him again).

You deserve someone great! I hope this continues to work out for you......and remember to keep us updated.  Smile

Sincerely,

Mel

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 7:36am

Fabulous!  He sounds like a good guy!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 7:05am

Wow, what a nice surprise!  Those completely unexpected moments are the best.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2001
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 12:34am

I know what you mean about the friend's comment being TMI.  A friend of mine once made a comment to a guy I liked about his shoes and their size correlating to the size of something.  It made me uncomfortable and I thought it was kind of rude, being that she knew I liked him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 11:00pm

Believe me--one kiss just made me want more!  I was trying to figure out how to casually say "Oh I'll walk you to the door" but I was at a crowded table & just felt a little awkward.  Of course as soon as he left, my friends, who by then had had a few drinks, were saying "hey, why didn't you ask him to stay in your room so he didn't have to drive home?" and I said "well that wouldn't be good since I am sharing a room" (Not that I would feel comfortable doing that on the 2nd date anyway) and then they went to "well you could always have sex in the car"--thankfully he wasn't there to hear that.  One of my friends had already told him that she wasn't wearing underwear--I can't really remember how that came up.  It's not like she was trying to seduce him but I thought it was really TMI,

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 8:14pm

Woohoo!  Music got a little action! 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 2:55pm

No I wouldn't invite him for dinner at this point.  I think that what you said is true--if you start acting too domestic too soon, then sometimes you get into those situations where the guy just wants to hang around the house & watch videos and you never go out.  I am not worried about safety at all--it's not like OLD, where you are meeting a stranger and you have no idea what he's like.  Even though we met through a meetup group, we have mutual friends who confirmed that he's a nice guy so I don't think I have anything to worry about there--in fact he basically went too slow for me.  lol  I was confused that on the first date, even though we were alone in a car together, he didn't really even try to kiss me--I thought it meant that he didn't like me and some of my friends were saying that maybe he was just trying to be polite. 

I don't feel like I really have to ask him on a date per se--since we belong to the same group, there are lots of events.  Like next Sat. there is a dance, so I could just say that I am going to the dance (with or w/o him) and ask is he going to be there--that's a lot better than having to ask for a date, but it shows that I'd like to do something with him. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2001
Sun, 04-21-2013 - 11:37pm

This all seems really good.  You're getting to know him slowly and comfortably, as it should be.  If you've only seem him twice, I don't think I would recommend inviting him to your home.  Besides the obvious potential dangers, it can create a comfort level that is best reserved for a little later in the dating relationship.  I've found that when I invite men to my home too soon, they either (a) get comfortable and are less motivated to plan dates anywhere else; and/or (b) get the wrong idea.  Any time I have done so this early in the game, as I did about a couple weeks ago (as described in a previous post) I have regretted it.  In any event, there are a lot of other activities you could invite him to; i.e., coffee, a walk, a hike, a movie, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2001
Sun, 04-21-2013 - 11:22pm

This all seems really good.  You're getting to know him slowly and comfortably, as it should be.  If you've only seem him twice, I don't think I would recommend inviting him to your home.  Besides the obvious potential dangers, it can create a comfort level that is best reserved for a little later in the dating relationship.  I've found that when I invite men to my home too soon, they either (a) get comfortable and are less motivated to plan dates anywhere else; and/or (b) get the wrong idea.  Any time I have done so this early in the game, as I did about a couple weeks ago (as described in a previous post) I have regretted it.  In any event, there are a lot of other activities you could invite him to; i.e., coffee, a walk, a hike, a movie, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Sun, 04-21-2013 - 10:34pm

Hi;

well okay the guy is on the hook so are you going to reel him in?? (lol)

I would ask him over for dinner and see what he says. He seems to be somewhat interested .. yes I know the rule books and men are hunters and all of that but it would appear times and dating have changed. If you have already been on a date with him and seen him a few times next time you see him ask him over for dinner and see what happens..

I would think if you dont make some kind of move some other woman will. Just thinking that right now in this moment..