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| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 10:52pm |
Hey all,
I'm on this board because I'm feeling very lonely and realizing I don't have a lot of people to reach out to.
I guess my simple question is how do you reconnect with people properly after having been out of it for a long time. I was in a "relationship" that left me isolated from people. Now, everyone I used to know is married. The single people I know are much younger than me and co-workers.
I have a pretty good job, a Masters degree. I am training for a marathon (with a group), but I really have no close friends anymore and I'm at a loss as to why.
Of course, it is way more complicated than that. Mostly, my friends just moved on when they got married. A few others, I stopped talking to because of egregious behavior. others moved. But, I'm alone and can't help feel that it is my fault. Just don't know what to do.
I always used to have at least one best friend and then a group to hang with. I'm starting to feel like an undersocialized person.
I guess I just feel frozen and helpless.

Being alone, 40-something I can relate as well as being an avid runner. Take advantage of your marathon group & ask one of the fellow runners out for coffee aftewards.
Friendships change a lot. I used to get disdappointed when people got married because it's like "oh there goes another friend". You see, you are experinecing what we single people just hate...once you get married, they forget about us single people. I'm not saying all, but the frienship dimension changes.
It's really sitting down & figuring out why you'd like to reconnect with these people pre-marriage. I mean...why didn't you stay in better touch? Don't be surprised if they don't reciprocate. People change.
All the above is not meant to be hurtful, just my 2 cents. Sometimes we go through life recreating friendships over & over. Also try not to have to high of expectations as you may be in a vulnerable, needy place at this time & in my exp, it throws people off. Ask people about them...people love talking abut themselves.
Good luck & come back.