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| Mon, 07-02-2007 - 7:39pm |
I had been dating someone for about seven months now - we met at a joint bachelor/bachelorette party for mutual friends, were attracted to each other, and began dating almost immediately.
I think I've known for a few months that things weren't progressing as well as I might have hoped, especially in terms of my feelings for him - I just didn't feel like I was falling in love or even deeper in like with him. Still, I can be wishy washy, so I decided to give it more time.
This past weekend, however, I woke up and thought "when you know, you know" and that applies to finding the one and weeding out the ones that aren't. So, I broke it off with him and immediately felt lighter. He's a good guy and likely quite hurt/pissed off right now, but I can't help my feelings.
I was telling one of my dearest friends about breaking up with him and she went into a speech about how someone great will come along and everything happens for a reason and I'm so sorry. But when she went so far as to drop by with chocolate, wine, and a sympathy card...well, for a moment I questioned myself.
Should I feel lost and alone and confused? Is it horrible that I am excited about new prospects and enjoying time to myself?
I sure hope not, cause if it's wrong then I don't want to be right. I understand heartbreak. I've been there. But this isn't it. Has anyone else felt equally as liberated upon ending a relationship?
It's bad enough that I had to play the "it's not you, it's me card" when in reality, it's just as much him as it is me.
Is breaking up with him "all of a sudden" (we'd never even fought) better than stringing him along and hoping I'd like him more?
Where do you go from here? Enjoy the single life, broaden horizons and casually wait for the next guy?

Oh, I had a breakup like that a few years back, where I was more relieved than anything else. Actually, make that two--I had one last summer around this time as well. In both cases, I just wasn't feeling we were right for each other--I dated the one guy for 5 months, the guy last summer for about 3. Nice enough guys, both of them--but just not a good fit for me, for various reasons.
I think it's definitely for the best to break things off rather than stringing someone along. I know I would HATE for someone to do that to me (string me along)!
So, yes, I'd enjoy the single life without feeling guilty.
Oh, love your screen name!!!!
Sheri
You could have been my ex GF in this post. LOL
You did exactly the right thing. We never fought, she just in the end was not in love, and there was no point in keeping things going. It would have been bad for her and just as bad for me. I was in deep, why string it along? How would that "improve" anything.
Yea, sure, he is a bit hurt, now. I am relived it did not become my "second bad marriage". ((-: Just took a while to realize it. I am sure my departure was a breath of fresh air for her then. And I am sure this guy will be relived later.
I have this saying, "we can only feel what we can feel". You didn't feel it kid, you did the right thing.
>>Should I feel lost and alone and confused? Is it horrible that I am excited about new prospects and enjoying time to myself?<<
No. To me, that's just a huge sign that he wasn't the right one. Even if he's hurt, you did him a favor by cutting him loose sooner than later. Now both of you are free to find the one with whom you just "know."
AJ, enjoying life with C.