Self-Doubt

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Self-Doubt
10
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 10:00pm

Yesterday I wrote about how I love and hate the burning sensation that you get when you see your crush. I have always wanted the feeling, but at the same time I hate it since it is so overwhelming. Now that I have some time to reflect on it, I feel so stupid for saying that the sensation is too overwhelming. Rather, it is my self-doubt that calls it overwhelming. I was so stupid to be led to think that it is difficult and stressful to embrace such feeling. Instead, it is unnatural to not embrace it!

Hopefully the next time I see the girl, I can remember that the burning sensation is not overwhelming and that I can handle it .... I am sorry for rambling so much recently, but I find the experience cathartic.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: akt226
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 12:11pm

You don't have to worry about rambling here. I do it all the time : )

I think it's wonderful that you are learning to embrace your feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
In reply to: akt226
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 2:04pm
So do i (think its good your 'embracing' your feelings)! I totally understand what you mean when you say its very overwhelming. I personally feel slightly shy and nervous when i find someone very attractive, its natural like you said. I just wanted to tell you, how i think a man can control this situation. Theres this guy who i see regularly and he always stares and smiles at me(not discret at all in other words!) Anyway, he has a lovely smile and i dont think i would find him as attractive as i do if it wasnt for his cheeky grin and eyecontact. We've spoken about 3 words altogether so far to each other(lol) but i have that feeling that it will progress(well i hope so). I just love the way he makes me feel so special by the way he focuses on me. Its all fun at the moment but now i have the same overwhelming feeling when i see him. Anway, just thought i would tell you this as i think if you find the confidence to do this (as long as you dont do it in a freaky way lol) it can make a big impression on a girl. Have fun, good luck and embrace those feelings even further! Lay xxxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: akt226
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 5:46pm

"Anyway, he has a lovely smile and i dont think i would find him as attractive as i do if it wasnt for his cheeky grin and eyecontact."

You are telling me exactly what I want to hear, LOL ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
In reply to: akt226
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 7:39pm
sorry lol,were u being sarcastic in that last post, or is it realy what u wanted to hear?!i didnt understand, sorry if im being really dumb and sorry if you were being sarcastic that it wasnt what you wanted to hear(why not?)..
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: akt226
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 8:28pm
I am not being sarcastic, but thankful for you are telling me to go with my gut like the guy that you mentioned. Actually, I want to know how to broadcast my interest without appearing creepy. I think that a couple times I ended up frightening my target.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 12:24pm
aww lol! Well happy your not being sarcastic anyway and glad to be of some help.. Ermm, how not to be creepy.. Well i guess its all about confidence. Are you naturally quite a shy guy? This will probably make a difference as i can tell that my guy i mentioned has a fair amount of confidence so pulls it off well. But there are ways to become confident, or at least seem it. Start acting like it all comes very naturally to you and it soon will. Girls love confidence, but i understand your fear of appearing creepy, especially if your getting vibes off her already that suggest this. I guess, if you are shy maybe lay off the staring, a smile wouldnt go a miss though. If my guy just stared quite seriously and without a smile i too would be freaked out! Have you spoken to her at all? If not, try and establish the position that she is fully aware of your interest just through your body language if you do not feel confident to approach her directly as of yet. Obviously easy does it, one smile at a time, you dont want to bombard her with smiles! I just think this is an effective way of making a girl aware of your interest and making her feel quite special and can be as subtle or blatent as you like. As a girl i can safetly say it is quite a turn off knowing that a guy fancies you, but is too scared to even approach you and just stares when thinking your not looking from afar, so yes, this technique could be exercised in the wrong way. But if you just go for it, start with a cheeky smile, maybe making hints or subtle flirting, it should go smoothly and you could turn the whole situation around. When you walk into the room shes in, act like you own the room, even if you dont feel it, act confident, flash her a smile and make her feel special. Convert you nervous energy into confidence and become the most confident guy in the room, let her know you interested in her by reminding her every now and again. Dont be afraid to let her know through your body lang, and then eventually you can approach her on a more personal level. A bold man is a real turn on..xxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 11:01pm
This girl, I am sure, recognizes me. We share the same bus ride, and actually we first saw each other about half a year ago, but since at the time I had some one else in mind, I did not think too much of her. So on that day, I saw her sitting in the back of the bus and thought to myself that she looks cute. Then when she saw me looking at her and nervously darted glances at me, I turned away. On the next day, we saw each other again and, this time, she took the initiative and looked at me, but I had to break off the eye contact because it was too strong .... Then we never saw each other again until last week. Hopefully this time I will pull off a charming move!
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
In reply to: akt226
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 11:39pm
I think you should ask for her number ; ) If you're too shy, you could always slip her yours.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: akt226
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 7:41am

Okay. Time for my lecture.


I really think you need to grow a set and say hi to her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: akt226
Tue, 12-12-2006 - 9:25am
I have not been able to catch her for the last several days, and when I was going to be cheeky with some one else, it was a lot harder than I thought. Anyway, Shy, while I know that you are rooting for me, you don't have to talk about my set, LOL!