Sexy, successful…and single?
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Sexy, successful…and single?
| Sun, 10-09-2005 - 11:17pm |
This is just stupid.
http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=5001&menuid=6&lid=429
And make note of the comments by "relationship expert" John Gray. It cancels out any wisdom that could have been gleaned from this feature, if there was any to glean in the first place.
A~

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The only thing I see wrong with it is that they assume the only successful jobs for women are doctors, lawyers, architects, and psychologists.
>>>>I think that men are intimidated by women who are successful and we should be more careful to balance out our lives.<<<<
But not only those that are already successful, but also those that are ambitious and INTEND to be successful. For me personally, I'm so focused on achieving well in my career that there may not be room in my life for someone else. I spent four years with someone during my undergraduate years. The whole time I knew that when it came closer to step forward and take control of my career he would be left behind. He feared that day the whole time, and in the end I proved his fear right.
Now that I'm single I can't imagine tying myself down in another relationship, just in case I have to make sacrifices in my career for someone else. I'm still friends with my ex, and he tells me that if I'm not careful, I will end up a very lonely woman. lol. But I'm still young, and I'll deal with each year as it comes along. In the mean time I'm making it clear to guys that are attracted to me not to get too caught up in me.
How my feelings will change once I achieve success and am ready to let someone else into my life can only be determined over time.
Janet
I dunno - I get that reaction from men (and women) a lot. I say what I do and there is a split second where the asker's face goes blank and then some comment about how important that sounds. Despite my contention that it is not as important as it sounds and that there are hundreds of people doing it across the government, nobody seems to be more at ease.
That being said, I refuse to dumb it down for anyone. But I literally dread the question and have been told by good friends that I either grimace or smile uncomfortably when answering. I am trying to work on that, but it's almost Pavlovian at this point because I know what's going to follow and I dislike it.
I have the opposite response. When I tell people I teach third grade, they assume I know nothing more than a third grader does.
"In the mean time I'm making it clear to guys that are attracted to me not to get too caught up in me."
At least you know what you want and are honest about it. Although there is a 50-50 chance you will end up alone, at least you can say you did it your way. No shame in that...
***The only thing that turns men "off" is a woman who is a total in your face, know-it-all. ***
The implication here is that I am a know it all. That's just not true. I never said that men were turned off by a successful woman. But I do know that some men are less likely to actively pursue a woman who makes more money or has a more impressive job. Frankly, I don't blame them. I like the traditional roles to a certain degree. I want a man who is at least a successful as I am because personally, I would have trouble respecting a man who couldn't at least match me. Despite what you state as fact, I guarantee you that men are intimidated by my career. Some have even admitted it. You will note that I also mentioned in my post that people react that way, men AND women.
I don't see myself, anyone else on this board, or that article you linked to saying that educated women can't get married. You are really simplifying a pretty complicated matter and then making blanket statements. Besides, educated and successful can be mutually exclusive issues. There are some PhDs in literature who end up working at a book store and people with no college education that make a killing in business.
Also - because a successful woman is not married, does not necessarily mean that she is lonely. As for some supposed societal stereotype about the lonely successful woman, I don't see it. Give me some examples.
Just out of curiosity - what do you do for a living?
When I was out of work and get asked that question (I understand that in the U.S. and for men knowing the other's profession is more important), I would share what my passions, interests are. I would say I love connecting and communication. I volunteer as a community mediator and was involved in the Marshall Rosenberg Non Violent Communication process as a facilitator/practice group leader.
When I shared that, I would get into more interesting conversations rather becoming a status sharing thing.
Mark
I think that is a great concept and wish more people cared less about your profession, but the most commonly asked question when you meet somebody new is, "So, what do you do for a living". There have been moments when I would talk about my intrest and many people seemed to be open to it, but that same question would always be asked........ I think it is different in the U.S. At least where I live.
Kcole
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