Should I call?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Should I call?
8
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 11:25am
Hey everyone:
I have a dilemma that may appear silly, but it's something that's been on my mind for days, and I still don't have an answer so I thought I'd ask your advice.
I met a guy at a bar a few days ago, and we spent some time talking. i'd met him once before but at that point, we didn't really talk, apart from chit-chatting during a card game.
Anyway afterward he offered me a ride home, but I declined because my friend said he'd pick me up. However, I stood outside the bar waiting for a while but my friend didn't show up. So this guy drives by and again offers me a ride. Not seeing any sign of my friend, I agree. So he picks me up and on the way home, we talk and he tells me he doesn't go out that much but occasionally enjoys dinner and a movie, sounding like he's hinting at a date sometime. So i get bold and ask him if he'd like to get together sometime, and he agrees he'd like that, then asks for my number. He takes my number but I neglect to ask for his...
4 days later, he hasn't called, and I'd like to see him. So my question is would it be appropriate to ask a friend for his number and then call him? Or should I wait until I hear from him?
He appears to be a shy guy who doesn't date much, so I'm almost sure if he doesn't call, or if it takes a while for him to call, it's because he's nervous.
I was just thinking of giving him a quick call to ask him if he'd like some company over the weekend (he lives alone) or something casual like that.
What do you think?
Thanks for your input!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2005
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 12:31pm
I wouldn't ask a friend for his number and then call him. That might seem a little weird. I would wait it out. You could always ask a mutual friend if he has said anything about you. You could drop the hint with this mutual friend that you would like to see him and hope he calls. Then maybe that message will get around to him. Just my thought though...good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 1:40pm

Hey Lady! Well, this is a toughy. We women will always be bothered by a man not calling us huh? And then all those "what ifs" run through our heads...What if he lost my number? What if he is just really nervous? Well, I don't think you should call him. You don't want to come across as being too aggressive or desperate. I think you should just go back to that same hang out where you've seen him before and hope that he shows up! Just be very friendly and don't make a deal out of him not calling. Always be a good friend no matter what! Long lasting relationships are built upon a solid friendship. I hope it works out for you! Keep us posted!!

Oh, and Mahatma Gandhi said it best, "Patience means self-suffering." You'll be okay Girl!

-Lydia

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 2:23pm
Hey,
Thanks for your input. It's given me something to think about and perhaps enabled me not to act too soon. I'm just wondering, though, if, in your experience, guys usually call when they say they will? I'm just trying to guage his interest level because he's shy and thus the signals he sends that he's interested might be more subtle, and I want to have kind of an idea what I can anticipate with him.
Thanks!
~LL
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 3:10pm
This is so funny because I was just coaching my best friend through this last night. Sometimes the guy calls and sometimes he doesn't. It sucks because wouldn't we just prefer the honest truth?? But, that's beside the point! If he doesn't call, even after you see him again, don't worry about him anymore. You deserve a guy that wants to call you! You deserve a guy that WILL call you! So, keep your head up and keep on fishing! There are plenty of good guys out there....well, that's what I tell myself! Haha! But, you never know! He could call tonight! Good luck Girl!
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 05-03-2006 - 11:09pm

Oh, no, don't call him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 7:23pm
So if he says, I'll call you sometime and we'll get together and do something, that could mean he calls me a month from now??
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 05-04-2006 - 8:34pm

That, in my opinion, is a way of saying "I'll maybe call if I get around to it and feel lonely enough."

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2004
Fri, 05-05-2006 - 3:27pm
Well actually, those were my words. I said, Would you like to get together sometime and do something, because I wanted it to seem casual, and then in response he said, Sure, Give me your number and i'll give you a call. I thought he seemed interested and wasn't particularly disappointed that he didn't give me a specific date when he'd call- that'd be too much pressure and less spontaneous, I think.