should i date a younger guy?

Avatar for connie2111
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
should i date a younger guy?
6
Tue, 07-15-2003 - 8:22pm
I've recently met this guy who is 5 years younger than me a month or so ago. I am 27 and he is 22 years old. He just came back from the militaries about a year ago and so he is not financially stable at this time. Whereas, I am very secure. I have a career, a nice car, and recently purchased a house. I dont know if money has to do with anything when it comes to dating. I feel that finding somebody with a personality is way more important then anything else. I love his personality, character, sense of humor etc... and he told me the same about me. We recently started dating and just went out on saturday on a very nice date. My question is, should i give this guy a chance, regardless of his money and career. I know he is trying to look for a job right now as a law environment and I know if I give up on him right now it wouldnt be fair for me and him since he's just started his life after the Military. Even though he is young, I feel that there is alot of chemistry that i havent found in a long time with a guy. I have been single for 3 years and just dating guys here and there, but I feel that we can meet at a level where we both feel we are comfortable with each other. I am pretty much indecisive right now....Should I give him a chance?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-15-2003 - 9:58pm
If you are willing to risk that he won't be ready - financially or probably otherwise - for marriage for probably 5 years - then sure, go for it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 10:13am
If you feel you want to see him, and you're not dying to get married--then why not?

It's just a date, not a lifetime, no-cut contract.

Ash

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 12:37pm
i agree.
Avatar for connie2111
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 1:25pm
yeh, but what if things go smoothly and we both think we want a long-term?
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 2:07pm
Then celebrate!! How often does that actually happen? Five years really isn't that much of a difference. If he were 18 or something, then I'd see a problem with it, but he's old enough to make his own decisions, so I don't see the problem with it. Men at that age tend to not be in the same place as we are, but not all men are the same. Just be sure to discuss what kind of relationship each of you are looking for, and realize he may want more freedom than a 30 year old would, and you should be okay.

I say go for it, then come back and tell us how it goes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 3:58pm
If things go "smoothly," then that should imply that all the problems now extant should resolve themselves: he'll find steady employment, your differences will evaporate, whatever.

When things go "smoothly," then that lends itself to WANTING to make things long-term. Take it a step at a time. Myself, I wouldn't want to date someone who wasn't established already, but that's b/c I'm already set up professionally, have been for 20 yrs. So I would look for someone on the same par.

I don't know your particular criteria for your own "meet market," but if you think he's got potential, and he's not too scary--and since he's prior military, that shows some stability (though I'd ask why he got out)--then why not give him a shot? It's the old "give him a chance" routine, and where's the harm in that?

You gotta walk before you can run, so you gotta date and get to know this clown before you can fall in love w/him, don't you think?



Ash