should I just let it go.....?
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| Mon, 05-01-2006 - 7:45pm |
Hi guys! I haven't written on these msg boards in awhile, so I'll try to keep this short and sweet. =)
I've been working out at my (work) gym for about 4 months now, and there's this guy there that caught my eye a few months ago (let's call him "John"). Whenever we walked by each other we would just smile, but nothing more. Well about a month ago I was working out on one of the machines and he started using the one right next to me. We got to talking and the conversation lasted about 30min...we were so engaged in our conversation that we forgot to ask each other's names. I learned everything about him: which dept he worked for, where he went to school, what he likes to do for fun, even his favorite TV show..and he seemed to ask a lot about me also. I tried to be charming and funny, and he seemed to laugh at my jokes. =) My only mistake was that I didn't ask him his name and we didn't end the conversation correctly...the gym coach interrupted us so that I can sign up for this gym contest, and JOhn even made a joke that if I win I should give him the free t-shirt...so I sensed a little flirting there. A friend of mine was also there working out and she commented how we seemed like we were so into out conversation.
Anyways, before that conversation I used to see JOhn at least every other daym, and since then I've only seen him once a week--so I started to get a complex that I scared him off or something! And everytime we see each other it's just a quick "hello". The last time I saw him I finally asked him his name, but that was it. He didnt attempt to initiate another conversation.
I don't know...it seems like he's not interested but I keep dwelling on that great conversation we had, knowing that nobody would reveal that much about themselves to a complete stranger unless they were interested. Any advice? I am not one to ask a guy out, but I'm just wondering if should continue to send him signals-or send clearer signals--or just give it up.
(This sounds lame but I know that if a person is interested/attracted to you their face lights up and they raise their eyebrows when they see you or are talking to you...and John does that!) =P

I've been down that road. I've flirted with guys and started talking to them and felt that spark and interest and chemistry, atleast I thought and then all of the sudden, he seemed to have changed his mind. In actuality, I think they do. I think sometimes they probably feel they're just not ready for what may happen or they're probably involved or whatever. Honestly, I don't know what happens in that time but I tell you this, when I see it happen, I compose myself and say, "Oh oh. What's that about?" And before I get my hopes to high, I try to put it all in perspective and say, "Okay, I've been chatty and friendly and flirty with him. How come he's not coming after me? Something's not right". At that time I just tell myself maybe he's just not that into me.
I say check out the situation again. If you're still getting negative or unsure vibes from him, then I'd probably let it go. He's probably got issues. But it's not you. You'll eventually strike up someone elses interest and vice versa. Just check it out again and I think you'd be able to make that decision. I would love to read Hal and anti's responses since they are guys. Maybe they can shed some light.
Who knows what happened since your long conversation...he might have gotten back together with an ex or met someone else, or he might have talked himself out of being interested in you (read Hal's threads if you don't think guys do that)...but the bottom line is that a guy who's truly interested in you, and who is emotionally healthy and available for a relationship, WILL ask you out. So yes, I'd move on...not in the sense that you ignore him or anything, but just don't expect anything to happen.
Sheri
Thank you for the response. =) Well, since that conversation I've seen him about 3x, and I think it's enough to show that he's just not biting the bait! =) I guess it's time to just walk away. At the time, I told myself not to think too much of the conversation, but it felt so good that the guy I've been crushing on SEEMED interested in me. You're right..he probably has "issues". It's just too bad though.
Thanks again =)
>or he might have talked himself out of being interested
>in you (read Hal's threads if you don't think guys do that)
Huh? Where did I do this?