should i make the first move?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
should i make the first move?
6
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 2:10pm
i'm 26, single and hating it. so i go out but i've found that men simply are cowards. they never hit on me and i don't think i'm that bad to look at. so, do i make the first move and approach men i find attractive or will that just scare them off??
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 2:27pm

Depends on what you mean by "first move"...I've watched documentaries where they claim is almost always the woman who "initiates" things. By making eye contact, subtle flirting...smiling...touching his arm...giving him the signals so that when he asks, he

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 3:30pm
I am 37 and have never had that view. If a man is interested and emotionally available he will ask you out - just look nice be nice and be approachable. Anyway, why would you want to date a man who you thought was a coward?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 4:48pm
I've found that, generally, men are NOT shy. If they're interested, they'll let you know--just as they'll let you know they're UNinterested by not approaching you.

I've always preferred that men approach me first. I know that sounds so "Rules"-y, but some things just don't change, and I think a man SHOULD take the initiative. No matter how far women have come, I still feel they should allow the men to pursue them. By taking the initiative first, you put him into an awkward position, and he might date you, get involved you, just b/c he didn't know what else to DO w/you.

So I believe in letting the guy make that first move. If he doesn't, then he's too wimpy for me and in that case, I don't want him. And why would I want a man who doesn't want me?

Ash

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 4:48pm
no need to approach. solid eye contact and a good smile should be more than enough to draw a guy to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 10-16-2003 - 7:27pm
I agree w/the other posters. Flirting, eye contact, conversation - all things I'll do if I'm interested in a guy. But I draw the line at asking guys out - if a guy is truly interested in me, he'll ask me out.

Good luck! :-)

ginger

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2003
Fri, 10-17-2003 - 11:57am
I find this so funny! I have better luck striking up a conversation of some sort and then the guy being interested. Guys seem to be so afraid of offending a girl or being rejected that they won't take the chance. Of course I try to make friendships all the time and work on those. And in that case there is no problems for me making the first move because its not really a move. Its just meeting another person. I have had so many of my guy friends tell me that I am much more approachable because I just want to make more friends and I don't expect anything more. And in the end I get to know them much better if we are friends first. Just my experience.
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