Should I try harder or forget about him
Find a Conversation
Should I try harder or forget about him
| Thu, 09-21-2006 - 10:52am |
Ok well my problem is a confusing one, two years ago my sister introduced me to this guys and we kinda hit it off right away after the second date I slept with him and after that we ended up seeing each other alot. We only saw each other during the night because I have kids and I don't think its right for them to see me with other guys unless its a serious relationship. So, we would see each other pretty much everynight and I really liked him the only thing was that he in a way I was ashamed to bring him around my friends he was a different race than me and he was more of ghetto which is what really attracted me to him. So I was with him for a while but I couldn't bring my self to get serious with him after about a year of dating i went to the club and saw an old friend i ended up hooking up with him the next day my guy came over and caught the other guy in my house, he broke up with me because he knew I had cheated on him. At first I was devastated because I felt like after that he was never going to be with me I kinda begged him to forgive me after a couple of weeks of apologizing he decided to give me a 2nd chance so now I tried but my kids father came back into my life after 3 years of not hearing from him my kids father said he wanted to work things out with me so I told my guy that I was going to leave him because I thought that it would be better for the kids.
So there goes heartbreak no. 2 after about 2 weeks of me being with baby daddy I found out he was with another girl and she was pregnant so of course i broke it off with baby daddy and decided i still wanted to be with my guy well everything was good he forgave me once again and even wanted me to move in with him. I told him no because the kids don't know him and it might just confuse them so i told him lets just continue seeing each other the way we have well he was always telling me that I don't respect him and I just use him and he wasn't sure if I really loved him honestly i wasn't sure myself I felt like I did but I never brought him around any of my family and I feel like i was embarrassed of what they might think to me he is not ugly I love his personality and style. So we were toghter again and guess what I met another guy who I thought was my soulmate and yup you guessed it i left my guy once again this time my guy got so upset he locked me in the bathroom and didn't let me come out he got violent but I don't know if i can blame him after all i cheated on him 3 times basically to his face and i didn't look like i cared. Well my soulmate wasn't my soulmate he actually left me for his baby momma my thing is I have been trying to tell my guy that this time is different and I really want to work things out and I want everyone to know he is with me and I am crazy about him but now he says that i have to show him that i am serious but i don't know if i am I think i am i am constantly thinking about him.. But I need advise is this my soulmate and I just haven't realized it or should i stop hurting him and let him go please help
So there goes heartbreak no. 2 after about 2 weeks of me being with baby daddy I found out he was with another girl and she was pregnant so of course i broke it off with baby daddy and decided i still wanted to be with my guy well everything was good he forgave me once again and even wanted me to move in with him. I told him no because the kids don't know him and it might just confuse them so i told him lets just continue seeing each other the way we have well he was always telling me that I don't respect him and I just use him and he wasn't sure if I really loved him honestly i wasn't sure myself I felt like I did but I never brought him around any of my family and I feel like i was embarrassed of what they might think to me he is not ugly I love his personality and style. So we were toghter again and guess what I met another guy who I thought was my soulmate and yup you guessed it i left my guy once again this time my guy got so upset he locked me in the bathroom and didn't let me come out he got violent but I don't know if i can blame him after all i cheated on him 3 times basically to his face and i didn't look like i cared. Well my soulmate wasn't my soulmate he actually left me for his baby momma my thing is I have been trying to tell my guy that this time is different and I really want to work things out and I want everyone to know he is with me and I am crazy about him but now he says that i have to show him that i am serious but i don't know if i am I think i am i am constantly thinking about him.. But I need advise is this my soulmate and I just haven't realized it or should i stop hurting him and let him go please help

Pages
Leave ALL OF THESE MEN alone. You sound very young and don't know what you want. You need to think about ways of bettering yourself and leave the guys alone for awhile. You're not ready for a relationship yet.
You said, "really liked him the only thing was that he in a way I was ashamed to bring him around my friends he was a different race than me and he was more of ghetto which is what really attracted me to him."
Huh? You like someone because they're ghetto?
I agree with lolitalovely,
You sound very young and well, too immature to even think about pursuring a guy that you've let go of a couple of times. You say have two children, why not let them be the focus of your life instead of chasing a Jay Z wanna be? I don't think you need to be chasing guys right now, you need to be focusing on you and your kids. Besides, it's unbecoming of a woman pursuing a man anyway. When the time is right, you'll meet the right guy, but right now I agree with the o/p, you don't know what you want and when men or women don't know what they want, they end up making problems for other people involved.
OH STOP THAT!!! You're only 25 years old! You have time, lots of time!! You have two little ones right now that depend on mommy and mommy needs to be there for them right now. There are so many stories in the news with single moms making wrong choices with men that they bring into their lives it's disturbing. You might not understand where I'm coming from because you want to meet Mr. Right and Right now, but when you get busy with life and not focus so much on men, that's when they come. You're only 25 and you make yourself sound like you're running out of time. Nothing can be further from the truth. And don't think that because you have kids, men won't want you, that's not true either! You just need to focus on you and your little ones who love you and need you right now. You'll never be alone as long as you have them.
Agree with ivil_mami25. You have lots of time for relationships. Right now your two children depend on you. You're a beautiful woman, there will be men and lots of them. You're probabaly focused on this guy right now because there really isn't anyone right now since your "soulmate" left you for his baby's mama so right now, "Jay Z" looks pretty darn good. But I don't think he's what you want right now, that you're settling so you don't end up alone. Lots of times when we settle, we still end up alone or miserable.
I would leave this guy alone because I don't think you're into him and you'll only end up hurting his feelings. Do him a favor and just walk away. Think about it, you wouldn't want a guy to do that to you would you? Just focus on yourself, and your children, maybe the three of you have a family outing or do something really special with them. That should cheer you up.
This is my absolute honest opinion.
You're being very selfish.
Pages