Should I wait for him to approach me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Should I wait for him to approach me?
23
Fri, 12-09-2005 - 2:25pm

Ok - in a nutshell, there's this guy at the gym. I see him there the same night every week. We exchange glances and smiles, and I think there's mutual interest. This has been going on for awhile.

The problem is, the gym is such an awkward place to start a conversation. I feel "on display" to all the other people working out and, being sort of shy, I just can't walk right up to this guy in front of everyone. Also, he hangs out in the free weights - while I use the circuit machines and cardio equipment across the room.

So, should I wait for him to approach me?

Also, I know I am not a very approachable person. I know I come across as being in my own little world, and guys I've dated in the past have commented that they were nervous to talk to me at first. I would LOVE some advice on how to make myself more approachable both in this gym situation and in general. I hope to get advice from the guys and girls on this one.

Thanks in advance!

AJ, enjoying life with C.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 11:46am
I don't mean to imply you're naive.
You're attracted to him alot and I know that feeling.
Believe me, I've been there numerous times. Sometimes it's worked in my favor but largely I've found myself losing interest because I got tired of myself being approachable and they not taking bait. Many reasons they weren't taking bait was because they had girlfriends that I didn't know about but seemed to love to see me light up and smile at their mere presence.
Hon. I love men to death. I really do. But I also know that many of them like to flirt for their own egos.
I wish you luck though. Like you said if it doesn't work out, it won't be the end of the world. It just opens your eyes a little wider and broadens your experiences. I know it did for me as I've been down that road numerous times.
You can disagree with me and I can disagree with you but I respect your opinion just the same.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 1:24pm
I agree that a confident man will go after a woman he is interested in, but I also think unless there are some signals that the woman might be receptive, he may not act. SOmetimes when we're attracted, we subconsciously throw out the wrong signals. I know I get shy and my shyness gets misinterpreted for aloofness and what guy is going to get encouraged by that? So instead, I try to catch myself and smile, behave more, and not less, openly, and throw out all the signals that I am a friendly (but not desperate) person. I think that's all you can do. If it's still not enough and the guy needs even more encouragement to approach you, then I would start to question his social aptitude.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 12-16-2005 - 2:00pm

I agree with you 100%
I'm like you as well and that if I do like someone, sometimes from my being shy, I tend to hide it and I don't show it. But if I feel he is interested, I will atleast smile and say hello and even make conversation.
If he still doesn't take bait, then something's not right and I don't want to waste my time anymore because I'd think I'm reading something more into the situation or maybe there's a girl or he's not that into me.

Pages