should we make a list?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2008
should we make a list?
25
Wed, 05-21-2008 - 11:25am
I was just watching a television show, where one of the single co-hosts was discussing what she wanted in a man.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 05-21-2008 - 11:35am
I don't have a list of external qualities anymore (i.e. must have a college degree, must not have kids, etc.). My "list" mostly boils down to two things...

- does he treat me well?
- does he have a similar world view and similar goals in mind for his future as me?

These two items assume that we had enough chemistry together to form an attraction and start dating, but these two things are necessary for me to continue

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 05-21-2008 - 11:58am
>> must not have kids, ...



I am guessing after you read one of my earlier posts, you dumped the single father. Good. I am happy to know I am having an influence on peoples' lives.



Edited 5/21/2008 11:59 am ET by hillaryh8er
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 05-21-2008 - 12:08pm
I said I don't have a list anymore. I am open to anyone who is capable of a healthy, adult relationship regardless of his history and status.

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2007
Wed, 05-21-2008 - 12:16pm
Sorry, I misread :). (That's only the third mistake I made since 2004. This is unacceptable HH, totally unacceptable. At this rate I will make my fourth before 2010. I shudder to think... )
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Wed, 05-21-2008 - 12:26pm

Oh the short list =


Likes to cook, willing to do it regularly


Likes sex, willing to do it regularly


Positive outlook, likes to joke around


No yelling, or liking to pick fights, a mellow person


Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2001
Wed, 05-21-2008 - 1:25pm

I know many people make lists and successfully so but I no longer do the list thing.


What I ask for is the "essence" of what I want. The reason is you can have your list fullfilled, but still not the feeling you are looking for.

Soliel
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2008
Wed, 05-21-2008 - 2:59pm

Exactly!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 05-21-2008 - 4:19pm

I'm pretty open to whatever - don't really have a "must have" list.


I DO however have a "more than likely big fat no" list:


Smoker


Children from a previous relationship and/or a crazy ex


Religious


Conservative


And that's about it. Unfortunately here in the midwest that cancels out a large majority of the male population. Oh well. :)

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 05-21-2008 - 6:57pm

I basically have two things that I don't want- a man who already has kids and a man I don't find attractive.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Thu, 05-22-2008 - 9:45am

What I ask for is the "essence" of what I want. The reason is you can have your list fullfilled, but still not the feeling you are looking for.

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