Single, 28 , Running Out of Time

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
Single, 28 , Running Out of Time
23
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 1:50pm
I feel like I am being left behind everyone else in my age group as they continue forward with their wonderful husbands, babies and gorgeous houses and I'm all alone wishing I had what they have. I am 28 and single. I have a good job, am educated, am active, have good friends. But I am really lonely. I was in an incredible, wonderful relationship for two years with a man I thought was perfect and whom I thought I would marry. He broke up with my unexpectedly

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 9:48pm

reading some posts made me think that when a lot of us got divorced, I went out with a lot of my girl friends' X husbands!!!!!!!!!!

The more comfortable we are with ourselves, the more it is Ok just as it is. The grass always looks greener. Many young people don't have the matirity re: relationships and look to the other to fix them and make them happy. We have to do it for ourselves. So, the pretty house burns down, what do you have?

don't mean to not acknowledge your feelings.

Leila

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2005
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 9:57am

First, I know how you feel- and I am almost 36- and single. For me, people have 2 kids or even 3, but fortunately, most of my group of friends didn't get married until 30-32. Each group is different, my brother's (who is 28)- his group is married or in serious relationships.


Secondly, that's how things LOOK and appear on the outside- things are not always so perfect (or at least that's what I keep trying to tell myself.) I had one friend who met her husband at 23- married at 25- (and everything seemed PERFECT) and at 32 she ended up divorced- no kids, starting over. You don't know if people are SO happy- but I know seeing couples can make you THINK so.


My parents had these friends- they were always the "perfect" couple- rich, successful, known in the community- 4 kids- all successful you name it. I just found out that his wife LEFT him for a less successful old boyfriend after 35 years of marriage. Their 4 kids all live in different states. The guy is left ALONE after 35 years. And most people I hear say "Well he's rich and successful, SO many women will want him."


I'm blown away by the insensitivty that people can't be replaced so easily! But again, its another example of how people perceive things. My point is that people can be rude, insensitive- and only interested in being your friend when you are in the SAME place they are.


You are NOT old. You are just not in the same place- and the best advice that I can offer is- to keep the friends you have but get some new ones who are in the same place. Its the same thing with married people- some people chose to have kids and some don't have them right away- its just a LOT more obvious if you are single that people judge or say crap. But its HARD. I hate not knowing where my social life will be every 6 months- but at some point- some of these people might not be married- you don't know. But realize you are NOT alone.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
Wed, 01-16-2008 - 12:57pm
Thank you guys for posting. I appreciate your time and sharing your input. It is hard to not to compare and to feel left behind. I have really great friends and some did get married young, others got married later on. I hope that marriage and a family will be a reality for me, I just wish I was closer to it now like my friends are. I am working on broadening my social group; I know I need more single friends, more people to get to know. I think a hard part of all of this is I felt in stride with everyone when I was in my two-year relationship. We did tons of couples things and had group dinners and ski trips and talked about weddings and babies. We had

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