single after 6.5yrs
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single after 6.5yrs
| Thu, 06-15-2006 - 8:06pm |
ughhh- I just turned 27, so I have been in a relationship most of my "adult" life so far. I have gone through a VERY bad breakup the past few months & am finally feeling normal and ready to casually date. I've been going out with friends, but am over the "bar" scene. I tried the online thing, but no one sparked my interest so I never even decided to meet anyone.... I have learned alot about myself & done alot of soul searching & feel ready to get back out there.. I just don't know how! Plus, I am afraid of getting hurt :o( What's the best way to meet guys, or find someone? I am not looking for the love of my life- just feeling out the field so to speak...

I wish I knew the best way to meet someone!
Ohh boy honey are we ever on the same page. I too am 27, and just ended my 8-year committed relationship one week ago. Things are strange but you have to surround yourself with as much family & friends as possible.
Keep busy. Keep moving forward girl! Don't look back - and that's easier done when you're so busy it feels like your head is gonna pop and your social activity calandar is gonna burst. Sure every woman has needs and wants to feel love and acceptance but we don't need a significant other to make us feel those things. Create your own destiny.
If you're not into bars (me neither) or the online dating thing - just give up - seriously - just give the whole "seek and marry" mission the boot and celebrate singledom when you're ready. I've found lots of resources on the web including the section on iVillage called "Single & Loving It"... I particularly liked the "50 Best Things About Being Single"... hey it's at least worth a look for the chuckle.
In the meantime, pick up extra hours at work to keep you busy and to give you some extra $ca$h$ so you can buy that gotta-love-it-retro-shoes that the ex would've HATED but you love or whatever tickles your fancy. Take up a new hobby or better yet, volunteer because you never know who you're gonna meet.
Just throwing my two cents worth in here, ITA w/the other ladies who have given you excellent advice. If it's any concilation, I'm 28 years old and have been single for about three years. I don't want to date and I still dont. And that's ok too. Like you, I'm not into the bar scene anymore and the online dating thing (even tho I've tried it) and it's not for me. There's a lot of pluses to being single, you can come and go as you please, you can do things that you once couldn't do when you were once with someone, that you can do now.
I can understand about wanting the companionship, that's normal. I too miss the companionship, but I'm still not ready to date. My last relationship was pretty bad and just haven't had the desire to date anyone, but when I'm ready I will know it.
Like shywon told you, some guys just drop off and not communicate at all. That has happened to me recently - guy I have known for five years just ceased communication with me (a guy i really liked but toward the end got sick and tired of all the sex talk) since December. He has done this before when he is seeing someone and no its not right and its not fair because it makes me feel used. I sent him a msg here last week, he's never responded back and I'm not holding my breath. Yes it's hurtful and yes I will get over him, I just need a couple weeks to get it out of my system.
But as the other ladies have said, keep yourself busy. Do the fun things you've always wanted to do. Being single really isn't all that bad, I enjoy because I can come and go as I please. And in due time, when we are ready to date again, we will know it. Best thing to do is take care of you and I know you can do that :-)