Single and going out by yourself
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Single and going out by yourself
| Mon, 04-03-2006 - 11:32pm |
All of my guy and gal pals are paired up, so generally I only get to go out with them when they're available. So in the meantime, I go out to do things I like to do by myself so may be I can meet a girl or just have a good time. My friends think it's weird to do things by yourself. I don't care who is with me as long as I have a good time. Have you or your friends thought this about you? Do you think that there's pressure on you that the only time you can go out is with your friends? Any thoughts?
TR

My friends are pretty much the same way.
I used to only go out with friends, but learned just how lonely I could get when it was Friday night and everyone was busy.
I am not single but when I first moved to Chicago I didn't have any local friends and it took me a long time to make a few friends. So yes, I did stuff on my own including going to a bar after work, restaurants, the AirShow, shopping and etc etc. I felt a little weird at first but then I just sucked it up and did it. I figure it takes a strong person to break away from the pack and do things alone and I don't consider myself weak. So...I think its a good thing. Plus you dont have to fight over where you're going, the drunk friend that you have to take care of at the end of the night, no fights over what movie you want to see..it can be very pleasant to go alone.
Ruby
I go places by myself all the time. I'm like Shy - my friends usually only want to make plans on their time frame, which is rare. (especially now that two of my good friends are bed-ridden for months due to pregnancy and an accident).
The places I go are usually the bookstore, movies, out to dinner, etc. I have yet to go to a bar alone - I think I might go to a jazz club or somewhere to hear music alone, but I wouldn't go to a regular bar alone. I'd feel too much on display, or feel like everyone would think I was on the prowl.
It does get old to do *everything* alone, though. I met a group for brunch this Sunday and that was so nice -- it's amazing how you miss just being around other people.
AJ, enjoying life with C.
Yes, I had a friend once tell me that going to the beach by myself was just plain strange. I never thought it was strange because I really don't mind doing things on my own. I would rather do what I want to do, then sit and wait for somebody to go with me, which usually leads to me sitting at home. Well eventually that same friend told me that she really does not think it is wierd to do things by myself, rather she does not have the COURAGE to do things by herself. That says a lot about how these people are treating you. Making you feel bad about anything is the first sign of insecurity. Now don't get me wrong, doing things like going to the bars by yourself is just plain stupid. You need to keep yourself safe as well.
KCole
I don't go to restaurants alone either. Coffee shops where I can sit and read are great but I don't like eating alone for some reason. If I am going to spend money on food that I could make more cheaply at home, it is because I have great company to help me enjoy the ambience.
Aside from that, I do many things alone. I shop by myself sometimes - if I am on a mission and don't want to be slowed down then I shop by myself but I take a girlfriend if I want to lollygag around. I attend lectures on my own quite often. I would go to the movies alone if I ever went to the movies. I go to free concerts and shows at museums and galleries alone. I majored in Art History as an undergrad so I prefer to attend visual art events alone. If I am with someone I know, I get really excited and talk about each piece and it ends up almost like a lecture. Only a few people are interested in the guided tour. :)
I enjoy my time alone. It's a great way to people watch, too. There are times when I love the solitude and there are times where I feel like the experiences that I am having would be richer if I had someone to share them with. That's why I don't travel alone. I tried it once and I just kept wishing that I had someone to share the experience with so that we could talk about it and remember it.
When I was single, I often went out alone. I used to go to the cinema, for meals, local bars and a local nightclub if I fancied a dance. To be honest, I preferred it sometimes to being with my friends. There was no rows, I could leave when I wanted, I always ended up talking to people I would never usually have spoken to and I felt perfectly comfortable. In fact, people seemed to approach me more for being on my own. Unfortunately friends and family made me feel like there was something wrong with me. They called me weird, not normal, sad, a tart but I just ignored them. Im happy enough in my own company that I can go out alone and still have a good time.
And as Kcole68 said, its not plain stupid to go to a bar on your own and I actually find that remark pretty insulting. Im capable of looking after myself and have never experienced any trouble. I know what dangers are out there and ive never been in the situation where trouble has come calling. I wait in reception for my taxi at the end of the night and only ever use the same licensed firm Ive been using for the past 13 years. In fact worse things have happened to me when ive gone out with friends.
Edited 4/6/2006 7:19 am ET by dillydrip