Single and not loving it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Single and not loving it!
10
Sun, 12-03-2006 - 10:04pm
I am not sure if this is where to post this. If not, can someone suggest somewhere? I am single and not by choice. I would like to have someone in my life. I have no major issues, I am ok with myself, and I don't want to settle. I just haven't met the right person yet. Its hard to be alone and see the people around you that have someone special in their life. How do you deal with being single when you don't want to be?
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 12:14am
Try to find some comfort in the fact that you are not alone. There are many posts on this board similar to your own. I don't think there's a perfect response, but hopefully, just knowing that you are not alone should be of some comfort. Peruse through some of the older (and more recent) posts here, you'll see.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 9:16am

Well, far as I'm concerned, you've come to the right place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 9:52am
Well, to give you a little background, my X cheated on me (after 12 years and 3 kids. He totally knocked me off my feet and it took a long time to recover. It was the lowest part of my life. Then I started dating this guy who seemed like all that. We were only together about 6 months when I found out I was pregnant with twins. He acted like he was ok with it but after they were born he went out of town to work back where his family is from. The babies are 8 weeks old and I found out he has been seriously dating this girl for about 5 weeks now. He jumped right in full speed. Anyway, he knocked me a few steps back but I am much stronger than I was the first time it happened. I don't have to share my man with anyone and I certainly don't have to settle for being second choice. At any rate, his stupid excuses are not going to change my mind. I was so good to this man and he treated me like garbage. So now here I am single, 32, with 5 kids. Honestly, I am ok with it because I like my who I am, enjoy my freedom and I have my circle of friends but I just wish that this relationship didn't end up this way. I wasn't looking to get married again but I would have liked for my kids to grow up with their daddy around. He is trying to make me feel guilty saying he has no reason to come back if I don't want to be with him anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 12:18pm

My goodness!

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 12:28pm
It broke my heart to read your last post. I admire you for being so strong. Your children are lucky to have you. I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry. I hope you find what you are looking for.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2006
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 6:24pm
Thanks. That means alot. Some days I am stronger than others. My XH developed a bad drug problem while he was cheating. We stayed together as a family (not a couple) until he got clean so now he is there for the kids. They are 5,7, and 9. He calls them every night and I let them stay with him every weekend. They are very close now. So I am happy about that. I still have feelings for the BF but I have so much on my plate with my kids and work and everything that needs to be taken care of at home. I have to focus my energy on them, not who he is doing behind my back across the country. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for someone to raise my kids. I can take care of them. I just want someone to cuddle, laugh, watch movies, talk to, you know, all the good stuff. Someone to share myself with. I am tired of men who view my kindness as a weakness and try to use it against me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
Mon, 12-04-2006 - 8:45pm
I can relate! I am single, and 49 years old! All my friends have someone in their Life and I don't. I have a fantastic career and so I find myself just working all the time to compensate for no man in my life. So, I never meet anyone and I don't know if I ever will. I am a working professional, with a beautiful home, and 3 wonderful grown-up kids...I try to be happy..but it would be good to have someone to spend time with...to go to movies and the jazz club..to sit around and talk with...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 6:14am

I'm 36, been single for the past 6 years.

I was isolating myself for a while with a horrible bout of depression, I recently moved though, to a much nicer area.i felt better for a wile, but now, even though I am happy to have a social life in my new town, all my new friends are couples!! To make it worse, one of the women, who is living with a boyfriend is flirting with me big time!!!! It's not helping the situation any, she's just getting me all worked up, leading me on, coming to me when her and her boyfriend are fighting. she either needs to break up with that guy, or I need to find someone who is available.

It's tough to pull away when someone shows interest after seeing no action for years, it's very tempting despite her having a boyfriend.

why is it people in relationships like to flirt with single people??? they are teasing us!!

pete

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2006
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 1:02pm

Hi this is my first time doing this. I hope I am doing it right. I was nice to see other

people feeling the same way. Is getting close to the holilays and I see all these people

with there love ones and wonder why I am still alone another holiday. I would just like

to see how and what other people do to kill this void.

Sandi

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2006
Fri, 12-08-2006 - 8:40pm
Pete,
Wow, be careful! You could be in for a hard time if you give in to this girl! Ask yourself, is it worth it? Especially if the other guy finds out. There are plenty of girls out there who are "free" and "unattached" . I am giving you advice that I need to take to heart for myself....Get involved in activities....I am going to join a book club, because I love to read and I am going to take a class at the local college, hoping to work on some "self-growth" and maybe find a soul mate at the same time! What do you think?
Cindy