Single and still a virgin

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2006
Single and still a virgin
4
Sat, 07-22-2006 - 11:16pm

I am a single woman in my mid 30's, have never married, and still live at home with Mom and Dad. This is basically because I can't afford to live on my own financially. My issue though is that I would like to start dating again - after being in a relationship and then being "dumped", which was over five years ago, I am still hurting from this. However, the issue is really not at this point how to find someone but rather, when I do, and the subject of sex comes up, what do I say? Being a virgin at this age today is very rare, isn't it?

The relationships I have been in have never gotten to the point of sex. I was never promiscuos in high school or even in college and now being in my 30's, I feel like I may never have sex!

I feel stupid asking this, but when I do have sex, will he know it's my first time?

Thanks!

30something

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2006
Sat, 07-22-2006 - 11:19pm
if yoru unsure of what your doing then possibly or when it hurts.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sun, 07-23-2006 - 11:41am

I think the guy you're with should know it's your first time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 1:26am
Will a guy know, who cares. What is most important is how you view yourself. If you want to date, don't let you being a virgin stop you. If you want to wait until marriage, good for you. If a guy wants to be with you and sees an inner beauty in you, he will respect you and your virginity will not matter, as it shouldn't. I'm a guy and I know it would not bother me in the least.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 8:10am
Not a guy but I agree with you.
I don't think it would matter to him either.
I remember when I first got with my boyfriend some years back, I was a virgin and he found out only because I was inexperienced and scared and I remember him pressuring me to tell him if I was and I broke down and admitted that I was and I remember thinking he'd freak out about it but he didn't. He was soooo happy. He grabbed me and squeezed me and kissed me and he told me how special I was and bla bla bla.
I made him wait a while for it but we eventually got through it and he was very gentle and patient and sweet with me and we lasted a good six years together.
Don't worry. No one can tell by looking at you that you're a virgin. LOL. But when you do get ready to become intimate, I imagine that's when it'll show but I think alot of guys like that they're the first one.