Have you tried talking to her? It sounds like it could be any number of things. I know rooming with friends is tricky. Is everything okay with rent, chores, other household bills? Does your boyfriend spend a lot of time there? Do the two of them get along? Do you try to include her in your life/activities? Do you guys have much in common? Really, it could be anything. Maybe she's feeling a little suffocated? I would just sit down and have a talk with her about how you are feeling.
I think it can be incredibly tough for some singles when they find their close friend has gotten into a serious relationship. Prior to him entering the picture, you two were probably very close. Of course, as we all know, having a serious relationship changes friendships a bit and for most people the adjustment isn't THAT hard.
However you were probably somewhat of a 'rock' for her, maybe more so than her other friends and now she feels like you left her. Plus you're in this great relationship and she struggles in being happy for you but feeling like crap because she's NEVER had a relationship. My guess is her self-esteem is incredibly low. Of course this isn't your fault but if you want to make your living situation less stressful and gain a friend back you'll most likely need to make the first move.
Be careful about how much you talk about your boyfriend or how much time you spend with him....just be sensitive to the fact that she's feeling left out. Make time for girl talk and nights out just the two of you...show her that you're still a listening ear that won't always reply with a story about your bf, or an ex, or another relationship.
I am a 'single' friend and even I sometimes get a little down as my friends continue to get into serious relationships, get married, get engaged etc etc. My personal saving graces are that I've had several serious relationships, that I know I will have another one, and the I know I don't have one now because I'm just not ready. If I had NEVER had a relationship and really wanted one, my friends 'triumphs' would be continious little blows to my self esteem.
Honestly, I don't think you have done anything wrong. What I think may have happened is that she is envious of your new relationship and is maybe distancing herself because it is bothering her that much. Perhaps, your finding a loving boyfriend and being aruond you now reminds her of her percieved failure to do so and makes her feel even more insecure. I'm sugesting this because I've seen this happen. Some people can't get a grip of theor insecure feelings and being around someone that has what they want eats them up inside so much that they feel the need to retreat and disassociate. I'd bet if you and your man were to break up, she'd come back, happily. She'd feellike she could relate to you again and you two were back on common ground; singleness.
I'd confront her, especially since you are roommates and try and get her to open up about what is going on with her. Hopefully she's be honest about her feelings and you two and you two can come back together again.
I think it can be incredibly tough for some singles when they find their close friend has gotten into a serious relationship. Prior to him entering the picture, you two were probably very close. Of course, as we all know, having a serious relationship changes friendships a bit and for most people the adjustment isn't THAT hard.
However you were probably somewhat of a 'rock' for her, maybe more so than her other friends and now she feels like you left her. Plus you're in this great relationship and she struggles in being happy for you but feeling like crap because she's NEVER had a relationship. My guess is her self-esteem is incredibly low. Of course this isn't your fault but if you want to make your living situation less stressful and gain a friend back you'll most likely need to make the first move.
Be careful about how much you talk about your boyfriend or how much time you spend with him....just be sensitive to the fact that she's feeling left out. Make time for girl talk and nights out just the two of you...show her that you're still a listening ear that won't always reply with a story about your bf, or an ex, or another relationship.
I am a 'single' friend and even I sometimes get a little down as my friends continue to get into serious relationships, get married, get engaged etc etc. My personal saving graces are that I've had several serious relationships, that I know I will have another one, and the I know I don't have one now because I'm just not ready. If I had NEVER had a relationship and really wanted one, my friends 'triumphs' would be continious little blows to my self esteem.
Honestly, I don't think you have done anything wrong. What I think may have happened is that she is envious of your new relationship and is maybe distancing herself because it is bothering her that much. Perhaps, your finding a loving boyfriend and being aruond you now reminds her of her percieved failure to do so and makes her feel even more insecure. I'm sugesting this because I've seen this happen. Some people can't get a grip of theor insecure feelings and being around someone that has what they want eats them up inside so much that they feel the need to retreat and disassociate. I'd bet if you and your man were to break up, she'd come back, happily. She'd feellike she could relate to you again and you two were back on common ground; singleness.
I'd confront her, especially since you are roommates and try and get her to open up about what is going on with her. Hopefully she's be honest about her feelings and you two and you two can come back together again.
Edited 11/27/2006 4:26 pm ET by goddessofthestars