Single friends who get on your nerves

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2005
Single friends who get on your nerves
9
Tue, 09-11-2007 - 9:29pm

I am single myself right now, actually coming out of a bad relationship. A friend of mine who is a great friend, i love her, has just been irritating me with her behavior. She has been single for almost a year and the past few months has been completely boy crazy. Every week there seems to be a new guy. She cant seem to enjoy her life without having a guy to crush on or chase. A few months ago she met a guy on match, they chatted online, talked on the phone, met, had a ONS and she never heard from him again. She has had several ONS since then. Another guy she chased pretty much all summer, slept with him twice, then he said he wasnt looking for anything. ALl summer long she had a crush on a guy from her gym and she would email about it EVERY day. NOW she is talking to a guy she met thru myspace. She added him and they've been talking for about 2 weeks. His friends are all female, he's very good looking, says he's online to chat. He is talking to her about marriage, asking her how mnay kids she wants and she seems to be buying every line. I cant bear to hear any more without saying something. I seemed a bit skeptical about something she said tonight (he had asked her where she wants to get married) and she seemed annoyed with me. What else can i say!? Just smile and nod? the only thing i've said is, great, you guys will have to meet. She really thinks this is going somewhere, and who knows maybe it is, but the way she gets caught up with these guys is just weird. She's already saying, well if things work out with him (myspace guy) they've never even talked on the phone, let alone met? and she has brought up them meeting, yet they have no plans for a date.

Is it just me or is this very common these days? I almost want to say something if it comes up again, but i dont think i should

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2007
Tue, 09-11-2007 - 10:20pm
I See where you are coming from and how that can be annoying at times. But it sounds like your friend is longing for a male companion so im guessing shes lonely. She probably sleeps with the guys hoping it will turn into something before dating them first. I would say be patient. She's prolly having a rough time emotionally. She wants the fairytale like all of us!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 9:04am
I have a girlfriend very similar to her and she just tires me out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 9:46am

I

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 9:51am
I was like this for awhile; totally boy-crazy and frantically searching for the one (minus the one-night-stands) til
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 8:10pm

I understand totally what it's like to have this "I'm nothing and miserable without a man" mindset and I've always wondered why some women are like that and others are okay being independent.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 8:24pm

The difference is that some people (not just women) are secure with who they are without constant validation and others aren't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 8:26pm

I would like to know why some of us are so desperate and miserable when we're single and why other women are still happy and enjoy their friends and free time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 8:38pm
It's amazing how similar our backgrounds are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2003
Mon, 09-17-2007 - 8:52pm

Wow, really? yeah In ever put those 2 together until I started reading about attachment disorders and parenting and spoke withthis therapist. She said that my mother's neglect is what created the insecurity and need to then seek out love. I always thought since I got it from my father that it didn't count, but she doesn't think so. Then of course, its also growing up used to certain things and have then taken away.


I mean if you spent most of your life heralded as prom queen, then were suddenly cast off the throne as the school misfit and outcast, you'd also be wandering around lost trying to find your crown (and prom king) again and trying to get back in the limelight. It's like going from riches to rags. Humbling. And depressing. And ever though people try and tell you that being here can be just as good, its hard to forget when you wore the crown and have experinced better. At least that's how it seems sometimes.