The single life

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2013
The single life
6
Wed, 04-17-2013 - 4:27am

Hi I live in Cape Town, South Africa and I am a 29 year old single lady. I have the following requirements in a guy. He must be able to make me laugh, we must be able to have a good communication with each other, he must be my age or older, he must be respectful, honest, loyal, not have a child and not have been married. He needs to have his own car, have a job and be goal orientated. He doesnt have to earn alot but he must at least have a plan for his career and his life and preferably live on his own. I am studying and working, I know it sounds weird but I am looking for a companion. Someone I can go to the movies to when I want or am available, or go for coffee with.

I was in a 4 year relationship and things just didnt work out, so since I've been single for the past 9 months and the only thing I've come across is this feeling of loneliness. I'm not looking for a man, but the men that I have come across do not stimulate me mentally.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2013
Wed, 04-17-2013 - 2:19pm

I don't think it sounds weird at all. Most of us can relate to the feeling of lonliness. Do you have any friends in your area that you could hang out with? (movies, coffee, etc.) You never know, you may stumble onto "Mr. Right" just being out and about with friends.

Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Wed, 04-17-2013 - 5:52pm

Ha, join the club ;)

Seriously though, stick around - most of us are in the same boat in that, most DO want to be in a relationship, just can't seem to bump into the right kinds of guys.  

Keep your chin up, you aren't alone. . . 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 04-17-2013 - 8:44pm

Hi;

Well at 29 years old I doubt you will be alone for long and man will come along because they are like buses one comes along every five minutes (lol) so dont doubt your ability to find another one.. It will def. happen.....

Just have fun for now and enjoy your singleness and find fun things to do because soon you will be attached again and you might not get this great opportunity of finding yourself and having a great time for awhile after you meet your new man..

Good Luck

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Thu, 04-18-2013 - 8:43pm

SingleLady29 wrote:
<p>Hi I live in Cape Town, South Africa and I am a 29 year old single lady. I have the following requirements in a guy. He must be able to make me laugh, we must be able to have a good communication with each other, he must be my age or older, he must be respectful, honest, loyal, not have a child and not have been married. He needs to have his own car, have a job and be goal orientated. He doesnt have to earn alot but he must at least have a plan for his career and his life and preferably live on his own. I am studying and working, I know it sounds weird but I am looking for a companion. Someone I can go to the movies to when I want or am available, or go for coffee with.</p><p>I was in a 4 year relationship and things just didnt work out, so since I've been single for the past 9 months and the only thing I've come across is this feeling of loneliness. I'm not looking for a man, but the men that I have come across do not stimulate me mentally.</p>

stop looking if you're not looking... get rid of the requirements if you're not looking.  Perhaps someone stimulating may be amongst the numbers of those you've been rejecting because of a list you don't need since you're not looking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Mon, 04-22-2013 - 10:04am
If I may be honest, but not trying to be rude, you sound like a bit of a pain. You list out all kinds of requirements and your wants, but nothing that you would lend to a relationship. Based on that description, you come off sounding high maintenance, someone who has to be taken care of but offers little in return. I've gone on dates with women like this....once. They sit there almost as if they are monitoring a checklist as the conversation is going on. I'm not a grocery store shopping list and it was boring.
 
The other part of that is that if you're reasonably good looking and the guy has any skills, he'll pick up on your requirements and lie like heck about them to try to get any easy roll. But you won't have the real person you're looking for.
 
The other advice given already is great - instead of walking around with a checklist and even eliminating those who may appear unworthy to start, have normal conversations with people just to meet more people. As said by others, at 29, there will be a lot of opportunities.
Avatar for davonr
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2013
Tue, 04-23-2013 - 9:37am
"Have a job and be goal orientated." this line i like the most and i think you should try out in online dating sites where you can prefer all these things. i think from this you can met with good companion.