Single Mom in 30s needs new friends!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Single Mom in 30s needs new friends!
6
Wed, 12-06-2006 - 6:41pm

I realize this sounds pathetic, but I am so lonely.

I have a wonderful boyfriend and two great kids, but I'm lonely beyond belief. I know SOMEone out there must understand!

I'm that typical single mother - no money to take a class or join a gym and of course like all Moms I do for everyone but me. I've lost the friends I had with the divorce and I'm a transplant from another state to Missouri where it seems women are only open to friendships with women from high school or a church or their kids sports. Strange, but true. Plus I'm in my later 30s and it seems to be harder to meet other women my age who are open to adding new friends. I have many aquaintances but nothing has ever developed into more than an occasional forwarded e-mail or quick chat when we run into each other. I've tried - I've initiated phone calls and made invitations...I'm really at a loss of what to do...I know I'm not really into drinking but love a winery with a band till it closes and I don't particularly enjoy shopping but do love to try everything on in my size at once and I'm definately that gal in that saying that goes something like you'd call me to bail you out of jail but I'm probably sitting right next to you laughing...what to do? what to do?

Has anyone been in this situation - what did you do to get out of the funk? Help!!!!!!!

Please :)

Lisa

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 2:40am

The best piece of advice I can give you is to get involved in some sort of group activity that you enjoy and that doesn't cost much money. It definitely is much harder to meet people when you're older and people's lives are more established, and you're new to an area, so shared activities are an important way of making connections. But it is possible--my two closest friends right now are people I've met in the last 5-6 years so during my 40s. I sing with a community choir and met one of my closest friends that way--the other was through an online message board about music in my city--most of us have met in person and she and I just hit it off particularly well. For you it might be getting more involved with some of your kids' activities--you might try posting on the single moms & dating board for some single-mom specific advice.

And it does take persistence--making friends later in life in not unlike dating. Not everyone you meet and try to form a friendship with will be a good fit--you just have to keep trying until you do.

Sheri

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 7:47am

What part of Missouri are you in?


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2006
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 8:43am
I am just outside of Missouri in Webster Groves. Where are you?
Avatar for cfk_3
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-1999
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 11:02am
I know you have two children and are single but would there be any way you could pick up a part time job? Maybe 20 hrs a week? You may already work full time, I'm not sure. I was suggesting this with the thought that you may stay at home with the children full time. I know that through the years, I've made several good friends at work.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2006
Thu, 12-07-2006 - 11:57pm
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don't have any solutions for you. Only sympathy. I'm in my 30's and i've consistently tried to have close friends. It sucks. Women don't appreciate the value of having good female friends. I'm in Louisiana, and it's very similar here as well. Everyone has their friends that they've grown up with, and they don't want to include anyone else allowed in their cliques. I was just complaining about this very issue today.
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 6:58pm

I'm in KC.