So there's this guy...

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
So there's this guy...
16
Fri, 04-26-2013 - 8:52pm
Sometimes I feel like posting or even speaking of a potential date will jinx it! But I'm going to do it anyway. So I met this guy probably 3-4 years ago. He used to go to the same karaoke place I did, then they shut that place down. We've spoken, and I always thought he was attractive, but I thought he was very young so I never really flirted or anything. I actually posted about him awhile back- I sent him a message on FB (were not friends there) telling him where we were going for karaoke after the first place closed. He never responded, but he did come to the new place. I've seen him there a handful of times and we've spoken, but again no real conversation. Until last night. My guy friend left and my girlfriend wasn't there, so I hung out at the bar alone for awhile. He came up to get another drink and the bartender was out smoking so we started talking. He asked me what I was doing Saturday, and told me I should come see his band at this new bar. I told him I had plans early that night, but I might be able to make it later (not really thinking I'd go). Then he said something about just turning 30. Hmmm...not as young as I thought! So I told him that the guy next to me was creeping me out. He said I should bring my "man" and that would take care of that problem. I told him I didn't have one, and he said he had always thought I was married. So this whole time I thought he was super young and for some reason he thought I was married. He told me to come sit with him and his friend to get away from creepy guy (that works every time, by the way), so I did. The friend was actually cuter, but he was 23! When I got ready to leave, he gave me his number and told me to text him to let him know if I was coming. So I texted him today after I secured a friend. I am not big on long texting conversations, but they must not bother him. Geez. I texted at 1:30 to say I was coming, and at 3:30 I finally had to tell him I was headed home and then taking a nap. I do think he's maybe far more eager, or maybe just more blunt/open than I am. He flat out asked me if I was interested and what I was looking for. I told him I was interested, but avoided the second question. I want a boyfriend, but I don't know if I want him as a boyfriend! Some guys are just fun to have around and aren't really dating material. I already have one of those. I don't really need another. I guess we'll see how tomorrow night goes. I'm going to try to make it so I drive with others so he doesn't think I'm open for anything other than getting to know him. He made some comments that I had to tell him to tame down a couple of times. I would say forget him because of that, except I know some guys are just far more bold that way. He didn't even try to touch me last night and he'd been drinking. I'll at least give him a chance. I figure it can't hurt! If anything, I get a little attention and a night out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Sun, 04-28-2013 - 6:27pm

Glad that both Shy and Music had fun last night....

Shy - it does sound promising.  Keep us posted.  At least he communicates, which is generally 1/2 the battle.

Music - that's funny about the guy's ex-gf, but at least she's on your side.  

I was at an all-day professional seminar on Saturday (about an hour away from my house) so I was pretty exhausted by the time I got home.  I was in my pajamas eating pizza at 8pm, and that was OK by me for this weekend at least.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Mon, 04-29-2013 - 7:34pm

I'm struggling with how much to communicate!  He texted me for quite some time Friday, then again yesterday. If he's the kind of guy who needs to know I'm thinking of him daily, I have no problem with a "how's your day" text. But I don't want to overwhelm him. So far, he's been the one to initiate most of the time (except the very first text when he didn't have my number). I know he wants to see me, but I've been telling him no because I'm super busy this week. My friend does want to see his band again, so i have an excuse to talk to him. Just maybe not today. I suck at this stuff!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 04-29-2013 - 8:06pm

Yes it's hard to know what to do.  I am not someone who is super needy & I feel that I don't really want to get into the habit of *having* to communicate w/ someone every day and having nothing to say.  On the other hand, you don't want him to get the idea that you are blowing him off when you say you are busy.  So I'd say text him if you can think of something more interesting to say than how are you.  Or at least you could ask him his next band date, etc. or tell him about something you are doing.

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Mon, 04-29-2013 - 8:55pm

He just texted me. :-) 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2005
Mon, 04-29-2013 - 8:55pm

Hmmm, in order to keep momentum, it would help to see him again soon.  Are you free this weekend, or next week?  I would make it clear when you 'are' free so hopefully he will take the bait, make a plan, and then it won't matter as much whether you text every day or not. 

Community Leader
Registered: 07-16-2001
Mon, 04-29-2013 - 10:09pm

I think he just likes to chat, which is why I hear from him so often. My friend wants to go out Friday night, so if he's not playing anywhere, I'll ask him to join us. He said he wants to "hang out", just us. I told him if he was just after sex, I wasn't the person for that and he said he wasn't after sex.  I'm just so used to being rejected I don't know how to respond to interest! 

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