So what? I don't deal well w-change...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
So what? I don't deal well w-change...
4
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 10:23am
nevermind! :p



Edited 6/7/2007 11:53 am ET by sumthingsgottagive
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 11:53am

I am very sorry if this comes accross as offensive in any way, but I do not understand how any changes in your work colleague's life are any of your business? For a start, you aren't even life long friends with shared childhoods and pasts although even if that was the case, her life would still be her own and she would have every right to make drastic changes in it without your approval. She has decided to divorce her husband because she probably does not want to be 'single' anymore, she wants to be in a happy r-ship.. who doesn't? She lost a huge amount of weight because she was not happy with the way that she was before she did so and because she wanted to bring on the changes that will most definitely happen in her life as a result.. she has pierced her ears and started smoking because she is fed up with being a good girl and wants to 'rebel', do something that is frowned upon or 'not good for you', for a change. Who she hangs out with and why really is entirely up to her... What does any of it have to do with you? Surely you cannot expect her to have stayed the way she was for the next few years (probably feeling unahppy, stale, in a rut, dying for a major change to occur) because that is what you have chosen for yourself? From where I'm standing, she just decided that 'nothing changes if nothing changes' and will now be living a new life.

The reason why this struck a cord is because the same happened with me and my I now know 'so called' ex-friend and then flatmate. We were both single, overweight and unhappy and spent our time together eating and watching nonsense on tv. I at some point decided that I'd had enough of this 'non-life' and made changes - lost over 30lb, got some major crucial dental work done, and met a great bloke. She never got over the 'betrayal' and stabbed me in the back in the most despicable fashion - too personal to go into. She felt that I somehow 'owed' it to her to remain at the same 'boring nothing' stage of life forever, despite the fact that I am 9 years older and didn't have much time to waste.

I am aware that your situation is completely different; my bottom line is that I believe you should just be 'mature' about it and realise that this friendship is over and move on with your own life. JMHO.

Again I apologise if I offended you in any way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 11:55am
great advice! Thanks!
Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 1:20pm

You can't do that! That's not fair!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 2:16pm

Sorry! I was just being a *B* - or having a *B* moment anyway!

I'll try to come up with something a bit more positive to post to make up for the deletion! :)