Social circles closed?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Social circles closed?
7
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 10:08am

Hi everyone,

I was talking to a friend of mine at lunch yesterday, and we were discussing how people make friends as they get older. I made the statement, "I just think that social circles close down the older you get" and by that I mean after your twenties. It is my experience that people do not readily form friendships as they get older; they have their family and maybe a few friends, but they don't seem to be looking to include new people or expand their social circle in any way.

I put this on the singles board because I think this directly relates to having a hard time meeting men. I've always thought meeting men thorugh your social network was really the best (although of course, not the only way).

And by social circle and friends, I really mean people that you are more than aquaintences with. These would be people you could share more intimate/philosophical thoughts with; people who would call you on the weekend to go do something; a group that regularly includes you because they like you, not becuase they feel obligated/feel sorry for you.

So, do any of you experience this? Is it my imagination?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 10:42am
Actually I would disagree with this. I have met several people in my late 20's and early 30's that I feel are much better friends with now one from right here on ivillage and one I met at hockey that I share common interests with and I'm always looking to meet and make new friends that I share interests with as I change hobbies etc as I get older my interests change and my friends that I had in my teens/college years status have changed, marriages etc and they have moved on etc and found other things to do.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 10:58am

I absolutely agree with this, which I think is why Internet dating is so popular with older age groups.

I'm 35 and I can honestly say I have no friends. What friends I did have have all gone their separate ways and I no longer see them but maybe once or twice a year. I have no religious beliefs so I don't belong to any church - although I have seriously entertained the thought of going just to meet people! (Haven't done it because I think it would be just wrong of me.)

I don't even begin to know where to meet people. Not to mention, I don't know when I would have the time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 11:32am

Only one?

I'm hurt. Boo hoo.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 12:31pm

ROFL

I meant that I see in person on a regular basis.

Of course I consider you guys friends but I don't see you quite as often as Ms. Wendie.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 12:44pm

I know - I was just pulling your leg.

Wouldn't mind get up your way for a long weekend this summer/fall, though.

And wouldn't it be great to grab Anne and all of us converge on Lisa?


Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 1:20pm

I do think there's a tendency towards this but I also think that it can be countered without too much effort. My two closest friends are people I've met in the last 10 years (so since I was in my late 30s)--one I met through a local online community (a group that also met in person fairly frequently) and the other I met through the choir I sing with. But I've also made friends through work in recent years and have made some wonderful friends through these boards (even if I don't see them all the time due to not living in the same place).

One thing that has definitely changed since my early 20s--the things I do with friends now tend to be one on one "quality" time for us to talk and catch up rather than groups going out, which I don't enjoy as much any more. So the opportunity to meet other people through friends isn't as great any more.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2006
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 3:30pm
This is very true and I am seeing this right now and I'm only 22 years old. Being that I'm very sociable, etc. people seem that I have ALLL these friends etc... but I don't - more like acquaintances, if that. Even though I do know lots of people, they're not my close unit. As you get older, you grow up and realize who will be there with you for longevity. People grow up, move out, work at other places, states, etc... and if they're not worth your friendship nor time, then let them go.