Some advice to give on how to be.....
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| Tue, 05-23-2006 - 8:11pm |
.......numb.
About three months ago I started a sexual relationship with a man 12 yrs older. I should've known that nothing would become of us but at that time I was bored and the thought of being with an older man excited me.
He was a perfect gentleman in every way possible, but I still kept on telling myself that this could never be more than what it is. Even though I had hoped that spending time with each other would make him develop feelings for me. For a while back I had myself fooled in thinking that he did feel something for me. He had even told me that if I was older this could have developed into something more. Since we weren't really dating, I had asked him about another guy I was seeing in order to gain some male perspective and in hopes of making him jealous - boy was I wrong. By discussing this, it gave him the opportunity to discuss things I would rather not discuss with him - other women. Contrary to what he had told me a month ago (about being too busy to see anyone), he told me the other day that he was having "girl troubles". Curious to see if he was speaking of me, I asked him more about it. I eventually realized he was really speaking of another woman. Hearing that hurt me. In some small way I had hoped that we were both in the same boat in terms of our feelings for one another, but as always, I was the only one on it.
I wish I could learn to be numb from all this. I wish I wouldn't get so attached so easily.
Looking back, the time we spent together was fun, but was it worth it in the end? I don't think so.
I hope you will read this and learn from my mistakes.

I'm just curious- How old are you?
I ask because 12 years isn't that huge of a difference...unless you're very young.
I'm 22 and he's 35.
However at the same time I come from a very traditional family and bringing home a 35 year old would not be wise.
Unfortunately, that's something many of us go through.