Some thoughts on the friend thing
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Some thoughts on the friend thing
| Sun, 12-10-2006 - 10:59am |
We had a couple of threads recently about friends who disappear when they start dating someone.
| Sun, 12-10-2006 - 10:59am |
We had a couple of threads recently about friends who disappear when they start dating someone.
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Smile,
Deirdre
"Right...and when kids come into the picture, you don't ever see that friend again. "
So true. I've lost 3 friends this way already. I seem to lose more friends to kids, than r'ships (be it dating or marriage).
It just occurred to me, I wonder if some of our friends vanish after they've had a couple of kids because they are getting everything they need emotionally from their families. Love, being needed, laughter, entertainment, etc.
I know that when I have my nieces(each of my siblings have two little girls), I rarely think about anything other than them. They are great to have around when I am feeling blue. It seems like every time one of my girlfriends calls, I have my brother's two girls. I've passed on going out with her several times because I had promised them that they could spend the night, watch movies and eat popcorn. I know she probably thinks I'm a complete loser and am missing out on life but I don't see it that way. I feel like I am getting the best of both worlds, in a way. I can't have children so, I especially cherish my time with them. They won't stay young forever! I'm going to soak them up while I still can!
I have felt that i don't need friends emotional support as much as I used to because the man I'm with offers this support to a very large degree BUT I know sometimes I will need and want my friends to be around because you can't always rely on one person and it's not healthy to do that either because you can lose that person at anytime and you need diversity in support systems and friends. However I want to be there for my single friends as much as I can too because I know that they need me around and I am part of their emotional support network.
Cl-Shywon,
I can't comment on your friends but I do find that misery loves company on the ivillage boards which is why I post on this board on and off.
I really dislike that on average you will find that twenty plus responses to some whiney post about being unhappily single but when someone has something positive to post about a new job, moving to a new city, meeting someone they really like etc etc, you will find on average less than ten responses and I find that incredibly disappointing.
There seems to be such a focus on this board on being in a relationship. There is obviously a cross section of people who post on this board from different backgrounds but I don't understand why isn't there also a focus on careers, travel, buying real estate etc etc It's called 'The Single Life' but it seems to me that most people don't consider that they have a life without a partner and I think that's very sad. People on this board often talk about married people and people in couples making them feel inadequate about being single but I also find that many single people on this board also have this mindset and it can be quite depressing reading the responses on the board.
I've never found you Cl-Shywon however, to be one of those people and your posts are very uplifting and inspiring.
Feisty
Hello Lovinhockey17,
I could really relate to your post even though I have to say that I don't think Cl-Shywon is one of those women who are consumed by their relationship. I think a lot of women feel validated by being in a relationship because they don't have anything else to offer in terms of having a great job or any interests outside of their relationship.
Feisty
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