I read through the posts in this thread and was thinking perhaps the issue is boredom, too, but then you made this comment:
"I really think my ex-boyfriend has ruined me... I don't think I'm ever ever going to be able to open up and let anyone come in again."
Why is that? What happend?
Maybe I know what you mean. It's kind of exhausting to think of being in another relationship when I think back to all I went through with my X-bf. It does affect how close I want to get to a guy. I'm not bored...It's easy for me to stay occupied with the many hobbies and friends that I have, but in the big picture that still doesn't make my feelings towards having a boyfriend any better. I'm able to date a guy just for a little while but as soon as I see any red flags that remind me of the drama I went through with the X, I run the other way and don't want to let the guy in. That's a healthy to a certain extent. In my (perhaps limited) experience it's less exhausting to just be single and care-free. At the same time, I am hoping to find a guy I want to have around for an extended period of time. After having been in love and in a deep relationship with someone else, it's definitely a balancing act to apply what I've learned from the past to the present and have an open heart to fall in love again. I will, though, eventually!
I think it'd be good to add excitement to your life (with hobbies, etc) but that still may not address what's going on in your heart regarding your X.
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>>My experience is that most people who ask for advice already know what they want, they're just looking for validation.
I agree.
I read through the posts in this thread and was thinking perhaps the issue is boredom, too, but then you made this comment:
"I really think my ex-boyfriend has ruined me... I don't think I'm ever ever going to be able to open up and let anyone come in again."
Why is that? What happend?
Maybe I know what you mean. It's kind of exhausting to think of being in another relationship when I think back to all I went through with my X-bf. It does affect how close I want to get to a guy. I'm not bored...It's easy for me to stay occupied with the many hobbies and friends that I have, but in the big picture that still doesn't make my feelings towards having a boyfriend any better. I'm able to date a guy just for a little while but as soon as I see any red flags that remind me of the drama I went through with the X, I run the other way and don't want to let the guy in. That's a healthy to a certain extent. In my (perhaps limited) experience it's less exhausting to just be single and care-free. At the same time, I am hoping to find a guy I want to have around for an extended period of time. After having been in love and in a deep relationship with someone else, it's definitely a balancing act to apply what I've learned from the past to the present and have an open heart to fall in love again. I will, though, eventually!
I think it'd be good to add excitement to your life (with hobbies, etc) but that still may not address what's going on in your heart regarding your X.
Just my two cents.
Whenever I see (usually on craigslist) the heading "I'm bored" I pass it by.
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