Somewhat of a personal question....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2007
Somewhat of a personal question....
44
Sun, 06-24-2007 - 5:20pm

How many is alot of sexual partners for a male soon to be 22? I was talking with some friends, and it seems that I am 1 less then the top (which is a 23 year old girl, who many consider slutty)... I never really thought I slept around, mainly because just about every girl I have slept with I've had a history with prior, or was dating/turned into a relationship. Aside from one 1 night stand.

So, I lost my virginity at a normal age (16, almost 17) and will be 22 in sept. What would be considered alot? normal?

(this is just including sex though, not other things... because then my prior statement is not true...)




Edited 6/24/2007 5:21 pm ET by kerplunk237
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2007
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 7:54pm

alright cml, so since you are the same age as me (22) what would you think if you found out a guy you were with was with 8 girls. Doesnt sleep around, but has just happened to sleep with 8 girls in the course of his life. Would you think its a bit high, average, or would you not think about it at all.

The main reason why I brought this up, is because I am a really nice guy... I dont try to sleep with people just for the sake of sleeping with people... but I still seem to have abit of a higher number.

IDK, I guess I'm not worried about it, just really wondering what the overall opinion would be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2006
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 8:28pm

It's still weird, but not because of that.

My original statement:
"Also, what a weird statement: 'Twenty-five percent of women and 17 percent of men reporting having no more than one partner of the other sex in their lifetime.' So they were all heterosexuals? Or was that number just pulled because it made an interesting "fact"?"

I was calling out the phrase "one partner of the other sex," not that the 25% and 17% couldn't be viable.

The survery purported to measure only the number of partners; nowhere does it talk about sexual orientation of the participants. So why call out this "fact" when there is no context?

As an example, the assumption might be that those surveyed were all heterosexual, but there's no documentation to back up the statement. How differently it reads when an introductory statement is included: "25% of homosexual women report having no more than one partner of the other sex in their lifetime."

Since there is no data on the demographics of the study, the statement is somewhat questionable.

And no Venn diagrams after work hours, please. Next thing, there will be single-slide PowerPoint presentations and I'll just have to defenestrate. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 8:54pm
You DO seem like a nice guy, and I think that fact that you're even worried about this shows that you are....but no, I wouldn't be concerned by that number, I'm talking, like...30, haha. :) Something that would make me think that the guy in question was more interested in sleeping with people than actually dating and getting to know someone. Maybe even that's not fair, but I'd probably think twice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2007
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 9:51pm
30? ha alright, now I dont feel too bad. But i guess numbers dont really matter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2007
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 10:18pm

Numbers by themselves may not be important. But every time you 'add a number' and go through the routine, you get a little more desensitized to the act of physical intimacy.

The first relationship in a person's life is the hardest to get over, especially if it involved physical intimacy because there is the novelty aspect of it. But after a while as the numbers keep piling up, it stops meaning anything -- yet another body, same ritual.

Statistically, the higher the count the shorter the relationship 'recycle time', shorter the marriages. This is based on statistical facts, not opinion.

Avatar for cl_shywon
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Mon, 06-25-2007 - 10:54pm

I'd like to ask you where you've found these "statistical facts", but this is not a debate board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 10:49am

What's normal??? LOL

I guess I am abnormal I lost mine at 19...I shall go skulk away now.

Well I guess it depends on if the person is asking, I've never had anyone ask my numbers so it really would be irrelevant right????

I think it's really a personal thing. What one does in their own bedroom is a personal choice, and while I may consider 10 high you may consider 82 high...so it really is an individual thing...which is why I think the whole asking how many people you have slept with thing is a slippery slope of judgmental territory that I choose not to get into with people.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:22am

Any way you define it, I was older, so...don't skulk, I'm with you there. :) My first boyfriend didn't believe in sex before marriage (we were so not compatible I can't even believe it now, but we were young...well, younger), so that was a year and a half right there, but I suppose I'm a special case.

I like the don't ask, don't tell policy. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:27am

LOL mine was with....brace yourself....MY EX-HUSBAND....LOL

I know how puritanical of me.

Smile,

Deirdre

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 11:40am
But you were 19, to me that's beyond normal! I don't think I would have been ready before, I don't know, college probably. I'm a mature 22 in a lot of senses...maybe that's part of the reason I waited, I don't know. Who knows?? :)